tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post4699549560281357773..comments2024-03-28T14:05:23.394-07:00Comments on Misadventures with Angry Alcoholics, Bullies and Narcissists: sibling abuse and sibling bullyingLisehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06266942951190435796noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-25025824233534844562018-04-15T10:00:16.103-07:002018-04-15T10:00:16.103-07:00At the time I was writing this reply (in 2015), &q...At the time I was writing this reply (in 2015), "hypocrisy" was in reference to school policies (the "seven strikes and your out policy", while at the same time telling students there is a "no tolerance for bullying" policy -- the "forgiveness policy" i.e. allowing seven bullying incidents does not go with a "no tolerance for bullying" policy). <br />In some areas of the country, school policies about bullying have improved since the time of this post, while others have not. Lisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06266942951190435796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-27505624278353523792017-08-28T21:42:19.076-07:002017-08-28T21:42:19.076-07:00The drawing is right on.The drawing is right on.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-28086171303848118152015-06-27T14:10:29.889-07:002015-06-27T14:10:29.889-07:00Hi Free Spirit! Thanks for joining in on the discu...Hi Free Spirit! Thanks for joining in on the discussion.<br />I see your point: "an obvious Narcissistic/Bully's Advocate LOOSLEY disguised as a victim's advocate" ... I hadn't contemplated that possibility, I just thought that if he was a school psychologist working with bullied kids every day that he would have compassion, however misguided he was in his "'advice' for victims to continue being prey for wolves". Which unfortunately, in this society, is awful and all too common! We need to change that to bullies being arrested and/or taken out of the home, or school. Instead, CPS is often taking the victims out of homes and putting them in foster care (just wrong!), and school psychologists doing exactly what Izzy Kalman is doing!<br />Also, how many families expect victims to "be the better person" and "make up" with their abusive siblings? Too many, and that is just plain wrong too.<br />How many schools preach "a bully free zone" and "no tolerance for bullying", only to be hypocritical in their policies, or have a "seven strikes and you're expelled" policy (i.e. leaving a bully to prey upon his victim seven times!). Just wrong! <br />Hopefully as more people write and speak out, there can be a movement afoot to end the trend of victims being expected to take on the responsibility of placating the family with apologies, and being a seven-time victim because of a "school policy" (all of which just puts the victim in greater danger).<br />Child victims are not just in danger from their perpetrators, but they can get symptoms from being preyed upon by bullies: victims are in danger of getting PTSD, suicide ideation, low self esteem and depression.Lisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06266942951190435796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-77945165176007774052015-06-27T13:48:32.075-07:002015-06-27T13:48:32.075-07:00FreeSpirit,
Thanks for the idea. I have an extensi...FreeSpirit,<br />Thanks for the idea. I have an extensive blog post pending on the subject of Stockholm Syndrome.<br />Small children usually have some form of Stockholm Syndrome in a narcissistic family ... until someone or something intervenes (CPS, a school psychologist, etc). Scapegoats are usually the "truth tellers" and "whistleblowers" in narcissistic families, and being a scapegoat is devastatingly painful, but also very brave, and I commend your efforts to bring the subject into "the light". <br />Thanks again for both of your comments. Lisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06266942951190435796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-18529451135036909722015-06-26T07:05:04.124-07:002015-06-26T07:05:04.124-07:00By the way, rationalizing with and defending the a...By the way, rationalizing with and defending the abuser while placing the burden/blame on the whistleblower/target is a SURE sign of Stockholm Syndrome. Maybe you should research that and do an article here as this is something that is also very prevalent in families with a Narcissistic Queen or King at the helm with an enabling partner who ends of with Stockholm Syndrome (and often alcoholism to cope with living a lie). I know all about because I'm the Scapegoat of such a family.FreeSpirit3927https://www.blogger.com/profile/12029405428876367709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-53476537478217817552015-06-26T06:58:01.879-07:002015-06-26T06:58:01.879-07:00Giving one's opinion based on readily apparent...Giving one's opinion based on readily apparent observations (of an obvious Narcissistic/Bully's Advocate LOOSLEY disguised as a victim's advocate) is not "attacking" anyone. Why does this Izzy character get to blatantly blather on with his nonsensical written "advice" for victims to continue being prey for wolves, while Anonymous above merely gave his/her opinion based on what should be obvious to anyone with basic common sense? Keep speaking your truth Anonymous and don't allow anyone to "bully" you about your right to your own opinion. How hypocritical!FreeSpirit3927https://www.blogger.com/profile/12029405428876367709noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-68736903943585261552015-03-12T10:39:58.333-07:002015-03-12T10:39:58.333-07:00I am replying similarly to your other post (as I a...I am replying similarly to your other post (as I assume you are the same anonymous poster:<br />I personally don't think it adds to the discussion to personally attack Izzy Kalman (to state that he has Stockholm Syndrome). <br />I actually think he has the best of intentions of trying to keep kids safe from bullying, but I think it is extremely misguided considering that all studies point to the fact that abusers escalate unless they have a total epiphany or life-changing experience. <br />I think that perpetrators of bullying should be treated the same as they are in the rest of our public spaces and society: they should be arrested. Whether they should serve time, or serve their communities, or get counseling, or all three, is something I'm less certain of, but expecting the victims, especially child victims, to carry the burden of how to handle bullying is just WRONG. Lisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06266942951190435796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-29454251270592596932015-03-12T10:37:29.764-07:002015-03-12T10:37:29.764-07:00Anonymous, I did get your other comment and will p...Anonymous, I did get your other comment and will post it following my reply, but I personally don't think it adds to the discussion to personally attack Izzy Kalman (to state that he has Stockholm Syndrome). <br />I actually think he has the best of intentions of trying to keep kids safe from bullying, but I think it is extremely misguided considering that all studies point to the fact that abusers escalate unless they have a total epiphany or life-changing experience. <br />I think that perpetrators of bullying should be treated the same as they are in the rest of our public spaces and society: they should be arrested. Whether they should serve time, or serve their communities, or get counseling, or all three, is something I'm less certain of, but expecting the victims, especially child victims, to carry the burden of how to handle bullying is just WRONG.Lisehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06266942951190435796noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-87366781147077225622015-03-11T17:18:09.601-07:002015-03-11T17:18:09.601-07:00I'm glad that you finally see how wrong Izzy i...I'm glad that you finally see how wrong Izzy is. If I didn't know better, I'd that he seems to brainwash victims into allowing bullies to walk all over them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6255338109333635304.post-1765629107753176582015-03-11T17:15:16.976-07:002015-03-11T17:15:16.976-07:00For your information, Izzy secretly wants bullied ...For your information, Izzy secretly wants bullied victims to be mindless sycophants to bullies. I should know as I can see through is lies. Why, I read that he has a Stockholm Syndrome.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com