Misadventures with Angry Alcoholics, Bullies and Narcissists: 2021

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Thursday, December 16, 2021

The Narcissistic Nation: Gaslighting Elected Officials and the Public, the UAP UFO Phenomenon

I'm taking a break from my usual posts on the traits of narcissism to talk about a lighter topic.

In this post I discuss another narcissistic phenomenon: a government and other officials gaslighting the American public, and even elected officials on the UAP phenomenon.

This is a fairly short post compared to my other posts, but I may be adding to it later on. All new additions will be in GREEN. It is also the first published post in my newest series, "The Narcissistic Nation". I have other posts in the works such as why I think civil war in the USA is inevitable, why I think school shootings will continue to escalate, and other posts having to do with societal and cultural trends towards evermore toxic forms of narcissism, abuse and authoritarianism, but for now, I think this may be more appropriate considering the holidays are before us.

2021: THE YEAR OF UAPs
WHISTLE BLOWING
NATIONAL SECURITY DISCUSSIONS CONCERNING UAPs
YEAR OF THE PENTAGON ENLIGHTENING CONGRESS

Apparently this year (2021) is the year of talking about UAP phenomenon (otherwise known as UFO phenomenon). Most of this post is about references at this point, with some embedded videos from You Tube below. I found out about this story from the 60 Minutes expose on this subject - the video of that is below.

Leading the effort to end the secrecy is whistleblower, Luis Elizondo. According to the post, William Morrow Sets Memoir Deal On Luis Elizondo, Former Head Of U.S. UFO Program - by Deadline administrators, Luis Elizondo is: "the former head of the U.S. Government’s UFO program, the Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program (AATIP). Elizondo was recently featured in a CBS 60 Minutes story about the potential existence of UFOs." The article goes on to say:

Following the Pentagon’s recent report to Congress regarding UFOs, Elizondo was quoted saying, "The American people now know a small portion of what I and my colleagues in the Pentagon have been privy to: That these UAP (unidentified aerial phenomenon) are not secret U.S. technology, that they do not seem to belong to any known allies or adversaries, and that our intelligence services have yet to identify a terrestrial explanation for these extraordinary vehicles. This conversation is only just beginning."

In December 2021, Congress ordered UFO response teams with the Pentagon. New legislation to collect data was also in bills led by five senators. Pentagon spokesman John Kirby said that "We'll be as transparent as we can" (about UAP phenomenon).

The problem with all of the Pentagon/Us Government secrecy and denial when a large group of people observe a UFO passing them by, some of them triangular, flying low and as large as several football fields, who then try to deny what people saw to convince them that they are just "high intensity flares" dropped by air force planes instead, it is not only a government form of lying, it is also a form of toxic gaslighting.

We think of gaslighting as only happening in toxic narcissistic families. Some "authority" of the family tells a lot of lies, and manipulates the lies in such a way that if you don't believe that these lies are the truth, then there is something wrong with you. We count on people who say they have the upper hand on the truth, who specialize in knowledge on a subject, but should we? Followers who "believe" the person espousing lies in the authority position "believe" these lies are "the truth", whereas those who believe in their own eyes and question the lies are seen by the group as crazy. They are derided in their own families. You either deny your own reality to belong to the group who believe in lies, or you don't. If you decide to believe in your own reality instead of the lies, you often become the laughing stock of the family. Then the abuse, the gossip, the ribbing, being down-graded to being insane, and the ostracism starts ...

How awful! But when we see gaslighting on a national government scale, are we surprised at the level of distrust in the government by the people? Are we surprised that citizens feel abused by their own government? Are we surprised that citizens are increasingly attracted to leaders who are mavericks, who want something different than the same-old, same-old kind of government (seemingly becoming more and more corrupt), who are attracted to candidates such as Trump or Sanders? The government that keeps secrets while trying to convince its citizens that they are insane (over what they are going through in their lives in terms of economic issues, private businesses not being able to compete with large corporations because of government subsidies of some of those corporations, and yes, for UAP phenomenon, some of which is reported for those who dare to report it). The government becomes a toxic inbreeding of lies, cover-ups and clearly dupes the public and the elected officials of local, county and state governments who are trying to calm their constituents about the highly unusual aerial phenomenon they are seeing.

The government has said that they lied about UFOs for decades to protect the public, and to keep the public from going into a panic. Coverups required the entire Navy and it's officials too. And the officials in charge of overseeing our nuclear warheads and facilities, places that UFOs like going, are sworn to secrecy too.

Whether you can effectively report what you saw and what you experienced then becomes about the "beliefs" of the listener (whether they believe in UFOs or not) rather than about truth, reality and an open mind. It legitimizes "belief over reality and truth", just as in an abusive family, members decide, based on beliefs, whether someone is lying or not, or whether they are being abused or not being abused. Gaslighting a public that sees these extraordinary super quiet aerial vehicles that are the size of several football fields, so big that a B-52 bomber jet could land on them, that they were just flares and lights by U.S. jets is just wrong, but it also creates incredible blind spots for the keeper of the secrets in knowing what these UAPs are doing in our skies in the first place (because they are always deniable), and even dismisses possible national security issues and threats.

Is our species, and particularly those who are put into authority positions, too dumb and too drunk on their exceptionalism to illicit knowledge, that they do not care to look into how these highly maneuverable, ultra quiet, ultra fast UAPs function, and what the occupants' agendas are concerning our defenses and national security? Do our government officials care not to hear from the pubic when they are sighted by the public? Is the swarming of UAPs on our navy ships and giving into skepticism a good idea for our national security issues? We should be very concerned, as Christopher Mellon, Luis Elizondo and the navy pilots who see them every day say we should be.

The problem is that those who believe in their own exceptionalism and love the secrecy that comes with it, can actually hinder investigation. Exceptionalism is a narcissistic trait, and any time there is narcissism, you are going to face a less intelligent approach to any issue. Narcissism is always about power, control and dominance, not about promoting the truth. In fact narcissism is about lies, coverups, blame-shifting, gaslighting and derision of people who speak the truth. How are these narcissistic traits going to serve us with these highly advanced "aerial machines" in our world, perhaps so highly advanced that they can hinder any and all national security attempts?

The other issue here is that secrecy can work against us. Is the U.S. military planning on attempting to shoot these vehicles down? Can they inadvertently start a war? Can our species be inadvertently destroyed? And what about our nuclear war-heads and nuclear power facilities? If these can be turned off and on by an overhead vehicle we cannot identify, how does this impact how we defend ourselves?

We pay for our U.S. military to defend against foreign enemies and enemies from within. Their oath is to the Constitution, not the government, and not a government who does not follow the Constitution.

And how many people have been fired, demoted from the Navy or Air Force, incarcerated in mental institutions, scapegoated and lost clout because they had an encounter with a UFO? Is this a good way to treat people who speak the truth, who tell what they saw? Is this a good way to get to the bottom of what is happening? And by the way, this is exactly how abusive families treat their members who are truth tellers: they just sideline them, tell them that they are crazy, so that the brainwashed clan of "believers" can continue to rib the abused, make fun of them, and continue to live in ignorance, hiding the truth.

In my own life, I have known two people (who did not know each other) who say they were abducted by aliens. One of them is a very close friend, and I know him to be absolutely sane. He's a critical thinker, highly educated, and not given to conspiracy theories at all. In fact, he's the least likely person to talk about an experience like this, so he has kept the secret to himself.

The thing about both of their stories is that they sound practically the same. They were sucked up into a "ship", one from her yard, and the other from a farm field, treated with something that immobilized them, received communications telepathically from the aliens, got some kind of medical treatment or tracking device (they don't know which). Both of them felt terrified, traumatized and lonely after the experience, lonely because they felt they couldn't tell anyone and be believed, terrified because they never wanted to experience it again and did not know if the experience was a "one-off" or something that would continue in some way. The only reason I was trusted is because I am known for having an open mind and being empathetic and that I would keep their identities to myself.

One thing we do know about human behavior is that being taken against your will, even by our own species, creates trauma. Having to keep a toxic secret about a traumatizing event that people don't "believe" also creates trauma, but it is long lasting precisely for the reason that it is a taboo subject. There is a reason why kidnapping is illegal: it does not respect the sanctity of freedom. Voluntary and autonomous decision-making about what you do with your own self at any given time is a right in democratic nations. At any rate, all of us feel most at peace in the world when our decision-making is our own, and not taken from us in terrifying or exploitive ways.

The fact that I know two people who went through an "other worldy" experience like this, tells me that there are probably many, many more, even among people that you know. The nature of secrecy and not wanting to be made to look foolish probably keeps an astounding number of people quiet. Meanwhile, the beings (or technologically advanced culture) who are doing this to our countrymen keep getting away with it, with no one looking into it because of the nature of the secrecy and gaslighting around this issue. Again, I ask you, how is this good for our country?

Even commander David Fravor, the jet flyer who is featured in CBS's 60 Minutes (video below), said he got excessively ribbed after seeing and chasing a UFO, even when so many of his fellow pilots had seen UAPs themselves.

Where have we heard this?
"Saying you see a UFO is something to be teased about."
"You can't say anything to anyone about UFOs without being thought you are crazy! Don't tell anyone if you know what is good for you!"
"That wasn't a UFO! You're just seeing things! You were just hallucinating that day. Did you have anything funny to drink?"
"The probability of that being anything remotely possible is so slim."
"Most UFO sightings can be explained away."
"You were abducted by aliens?! Give me a break! You need a mental health check-up!"
"I didn't know you were into conspiracy theories!"
"The one thing I can't respect is someone who believes in UFOs."

I'll tell you where we hear similar things. Just replace UFO and aliens with abuse and abuser. If you are abused in a toxic family who is seeking to cover up their abuses, this is the way they talk to you and others in the family. This kind of talk has no place in national security discourse, in government, in our military, on our navy ships, in our schools, or even in our homes.

We need less "know-it-all" perspectives who are tethered to "beliefs" and go along with a crowd without question, and more minds that are research-oriented and open. There is probably a lot of phenomenon in our world and in the universe that is simply not explainable with our present evolution.

If human beings could shed their narcissism to a point of mutual empathy and mutual respect, the knowledge we could obtain would probably be unprecedented; we would not have practices in place which keep us Medieval and unable to understand technological advances, and the reasons for certain happenings outside of our present human realm of understanding.

"Navy pilots describe encounters with UFOs"
from CBS's "60 Minutes":

"Pentagon announces plans to streamline UFO reports and analysis":
WATCH ON CNN (click)

"Luis Elizondo, Former AATIP Director, on UFOs and National Security (Live, 6/8)"
by "The Washington Post Live":

"Luis Elizondo on unidentified aerial phenomena, extraterrestrials and the Pentagon's UFO programme"

by "British GQ":

"Luis Elizondo on UFOs, Skinwalker, Remote Viewing, and the Invisible College"
for "Theories of Everything with Curt Jaimungal"

You can also click on the video picture to be taken right to Curt Jaimungal's channel

FURTHER READING

‘Wow, What Is That?’ Navy Pilots Report Unexplained Flying Objects - by Helene Cooper, Ralph Blumenthal and Leslie Kean for The New York Times - 2019
excerpt:
... WASHINGTON — The strange objects, one of them like a spinning top moving against the wind, appeared almost daily from the summer of 2014 to March 2015, high in the skies over the East Coast. Navy pilots reported to their superiors that the objects had no visible engine or infrared exhaust plumes, but that they could reach 30,000 feet and hypersonic speeds.
“These things would be out there all day,” said Lt. Ryan Graves, an F/A-18 Super Hornet pilot who has been with the Navy for 10 years, and who reported his sightings to the Pentagon and Congress. “Keeping an aircraft in the air requires a significant amount of energy. With the speeds we observed, 12 hours in the air is 11 hours longer than we’d expect.”
In late 2014, a Super Hornet pilot had a near collision with one of the objects, and an official mishap report was filed. Some of the incidents were videotaped, including one taken by a plane’s camera in early 2015 that shows an object zooming over the ocean waves as pilots question what they are watching.

Navy Reports Describe Encounters With Unexplained Flying Objects (While some of the encounters have been reported publicly before, the Navy records are an official accounting of the incidents, including descriptions from the pilots of what they saw.) - by Ralph Blumenthal and Leslie Kean for The New York Times - 2020
excerpt:
Navy fighter pilots reported close encounters with unidentified aerial vehicles, including several dangerously close, in eight incidents between June 27, 2013, and Feb. 13, 2019, according to documents recently released by the Navy.
Two happened on one day, according to one of eight unclassified Navy safety reports released in response to requests filed under the Freedom of Information Act by news outlets, including The New York Times.
Last month the Defense Department authenticated three videos of aerial encounters previously published by The Times, accompanying accounts of Navy pilots who reported such close encounters. ...
... One incident, on March 26, 2014, over the Atlantic Ocean off Virginia Beach, involved a silver object “approximately the size of a suitcase” that was tracked on radar passing within 1,000 feet of one of the jets, according to the report.
Some of the incidents involved fighter squadrons aboard the aircraft carrier Theodore Roosevelt. One of the former F/A-18 Super Hornet pilots, Lt. Ryan Graves, last year described a close encounter off Virginia Beach with what looked like a flying sphere encasing a cube, as recounted by a fellow pilot and later reported to the squadron safety officer. ...

No Longer in Shadows, Pentagon’s U.F.O. Unit Will Make Some Findings Public (For over a decade, the program, now tucked inside the Office of Naval Intelligence, has discussed mysterious events in classified briefings.) - by Ralph Blumenthal and Leslie Kean for The New York Times - 2020
excerpt:
Despite Pentagon statements that it disbanded a once-covert program to investigate unidentified flying objects, the effort remains underway — renamed and tucked inside the Office of Naval Intelligence, where officials continue to study mystifying encounters between military pilots and unidentified aerial vehicles.
Pentagon officials will not discuss the program, which is not classified but deals with classified matters. Yet it appeared last month in a Senate committee report outlining spending on the nation’s intelligence agencies for the coming year. The report said the program, the Unidentified Aerial Phenomenon Task Force, was “to standardize collection and reporting” on sightings of unexplained aerial vehicles, and was to report at least some of its findings to the public within 180 days after passage of the intelligence authorization act. ...
... Mr. Reid, the former Democratic senator from Nevada who pushed for funding the earlier U.F.O. program when he was the majority leader, said he believed that crashes of objects of unknown origin may have occurred and that retrieved materials should be studied.
“After looking into this, I came to the conclusion that there were reports — some were substantive, some not so substantive — that there were actual materials that the government and the private sector had in their possession,” Mr. Reid said in an interview.
... Eric W. Davis, an astrophysicist who worked as a subcontractor and then a consultant for the Pentagon U.F.O. program since 2007, said that, in some cases, examination of the materials had so far failed to determine their source and led him to conclude, “We couldn’t make it ourselves.”
The constraints on discussing classified programs — and the ambiguity of information cited in unclassified slides from the briefings — have put officials who have studied U.F.O.s in the position of stating their views without presenting any hard evidence. ...
... Mr. Davis, who now works for Aerospace Corporation, a defense contractor, said he gave a classified briefing to a Defense Department agency as recently as March about retrievals from “off-world vehicles not made on this earth.”
Mr. Davis said he also gave classified briefings on retrievals of unexplained objects to staff members of the Senate Armed Services Committee on Oct. 21, 2019, and to staff members of the Senate Intelligence Committee two days later. ...
... Public fascination with the topic of U.F.O.s has drawn in President Trump, who told his son Donald Trump Jr. in a June interview that he knew “very interesting” things about Roswell — a city in New Mexico that is central to speculation about the existence of U.F.O.s. The president demurred when asked if he would declassify any information on Roswell. “I’ll have to think about that one,” he said.
... Either way, Mr. Reid said, more should be made public to clarify what is known and what is not. “It is extremely important that information about the discovery of physical materials or retrieved craft come out,” he said.

Preliminary Assessment:Unidentified Aerial Phenomena - from the OFFICE OF THE DIRECTOR OF NATIONAL INTELLIGENCE (dni.gov)

Congress revives the '1 percent' doctrine - by Marik Von Rennenkampff for The Hill

Year Of The UFO Continues: Pentagon Launches Program To Investigate Sightings - by Nicholas Reimann for Forbes (November 24, 2021)

UFOs: Generals, Pilots, and Government Officials Go on the Record - by Leslie Kean (published by Random House - Amazon link)

Pentagon Forms a Group to Examine Unexplained Aerial Sightings (The announcement follows a report that failed to clarify strange phenomena observed by military pilots and others over the past two decades.) - by Julian E. Barnes for The New York Times (November 24, updated November 25)

Why Are We All Talking About U.F.O.s Right Now? (U.F.O.s were once a taboo topic for the U.S. government, but not anymore. A long anticipated report was released.) - by Jennifer Jett for The New York Times

Pentagon announces plans to streamline UFO reports and analysis - by Oren Liebermann for CNN

With a recently released UFO report, more people are asking about extraterrestrial life. Here's what that question could reveal - by Travis Caldwell for CNN

Navy ‘Tic Tac’ UFO witness demands public apology for years of ridicule - by Steven Greenstreet and David Meyer for New York Post
Excerpt:
“I and others deserve a formal public apology and a redress for the costs I/we paid.”
In an earlier post Saturday, Day said he could not find words “for the vindication I now feel” after the report acknowledged that “sociocultural stigmas” in the armed forces and intelligence community “may keep many observers silent, complicating scientific pursuit of the topic.”

This Man Ran the Pentagon's Secretive UFO Programme for a Decade. We Had Some Questions (Early last year, the US government officially acknowledged videos of "unidentified aerial phenomenon" filmed by its Navy pilots. Was it evidence of extraterrestrials? Here, Luis Elizondo, the former Pentagon intelligence officer in charge of investigating these incidents, reveals (almost) all he knows ...) - by Charlie Burton for GQ Magazine

Defense Department Forms New Group to Examine 'Threats' Posed by UFOs - by Aila Slisco for Newsweek (November 25, 2021)

‘Wow, What Is That?’ Navy Pilots Report Unexplained Flying Objects - by Helene Cooper, Ralph Blumenthal and Leslie Kean for The New York Times

Former Navy pilot says crews observed UFOs daily (Report on unidentified aerial phenomena to be delivered to Senate next month) - by Graeme Massie for the UK publication, Independent

RECOMMENDED: HOW THE PENTAGON STARTED TAKING U.F.O.S SERIOUSLY (for decades flying saucers were a punch line. Then the U.S. Government got over the taboo) - by Gideon Lewis Kraus for The New Yorker

The Unexplained Phenomena of the U.F.O. Report (A new intelligence document examines a hundred and forty-three sightings that might have been caused by errant balloons, foreign drones, or “Other”—a reserved way of saying aliens.) - by Gideon Lewis-Krause for The New Yorker

UFOs and the Boundaries of Science (This summer, an intelligence report and a new Harvard research project have renewed the public’s interest in UFOs. But neither is likely to change many minds) - by Greg Eghigian for Boston Review
Excerpt:
Over the last fifty years, the mutual antagonism between paranormal believers and skeptics has largely framed discussion about unidentified flying objects. And it often gets personal. Those taking seriously the prospect that UFOs are extraterrestrial in origin have dismissed doubters as narrow-minded, biased, obstinate, and cruel. Those dubious about the idea of visitors from other worlds have brushed off devotees as naïve, ignorant, gullible, and downright dangerous.
This kind of mudslinging over convictions is certainly familiar to historians of religion, a domain of human existence marked by deep divisions over interpretations of belief.

'Truth embargo': UFOs are suddenly all the talk in Washington (After 75 years of taboo and ridicule, serious people can finally discuss the mysterious flying objects, and even skeptics say that's a good thing.) - by Alex Seitz-Wald for NBC News

UFOs are about to make their way to the U.S. Senate. Here's what to know. (Decades after flying saucers first captured Americans' imaginations, Navy videos that defy explanation have sparked legitimate inquiries — some of them from senators.) - NBC News

Pentagon announces new group to investigate reports of UFOs near certain military sites (A Pentagon report compiled in June could not explain 143 incidents.) - by Luis Martinez for ABC News

How UFO Sightings Went From Conspiracy Theory To A Serious Government Inquiry - by Bill Chappell for NPR

No Longer in Shadows, Pentagon’s U.F.O. Unit Will Make Some Findings Public (For over a decade, the program, now tucked inside the Office of Naval Intelligence, has discussed mysterious events in classified briefings.) - by Ralph Blumenthal and Leslie Kean for The New York Times

100 Reasons to Love America in 2021 - People Magazine
excerpt:
66 of 100: Luis Elizondo
Once viewed as something discussed only by crackpots, UFOs have recently gone mainstream — and one of the people responsible is Luis Elizondo. From 2010 to 2017 he served as director for the Pentagon's secretive Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program. "The amount of stigma and taboo that was placed on UFOs for so long has really paralyzed the conversation," says Elizondo, who investigated sightings by fighter pilots and other military personnel. "But these things are real. We don't know what they are yet, but they are real, so we should probably take them seriously."

UFOs are real, feds’ cover-up fueled by fear: ex-Pentagon whistleblower - Michael Kaplan and
Steven Greenstreet for NY Post

UFOs buzzing US warships may be aliens: Top spy chief - by Henry Holloway for The Sun and New York Post

The new reality of UFOs: An interview with journalist Leslie Kean - by Leonard David for Space.com - (August 2021)
excerpt:
It mystified me why just about everyone was not impacted by the potential implications of the evidence for this phenomenon. It didn't take long for me to realize that most people in a position to make a difference were uninformed and understandably had other priorities. Still, given how fascinated I was with this and given what it might mean if even one UFO was extraterrestrial, I found this apathy and disinterest hard to understand.

The Gillibrand-Rubio Amendment Must Pass: Pilots Aren’t The Only Ones Seeing Things Going Bump In The Night - by Bob Plissken (Former Intelligence Analyst in the U.S. Marine Corps) for Liberation Times

Glowing Auras and ‘Black Money’: The Pentagon’s Mysterious U.F.O. Program - by Helene Cooper, Ralph Blumenthal and Leslie Kean - 2017

How the Pentagon learned to start worrying and investigate UFOs (The government’s UFO report has landed: It concludes that strange aircraft have been haunting U.S. warships for years, marking a new era for "unidentified aerial phenomena.") - National Geographic

Alleged Tic Tac UFO Recorded Above Space Force Base - by Gaia Staff for Gaia

'A total lack of focus': Lawmaker on a mission to compel Pentagon to take UFOs seriously - staff writers at Politico
excerpt:
Gallego insists, however, that another objective of creating a permanent intelligence-gathering effort is to ensure that military personnel feel comfortable coming forward if they experience something they can't explain.
"We needed to continue to break down the stigma of reporting these phenomena," Gallego said. "There are a lot of people who are afraid of reporting this because they're afraid ... it's going to cost their careers. People think they're crazy."
Only by reducing the stigma, he said, will more useful data be available. "We're not going to be able to get to the bottom of this unless we collect information, get enough information to figure out exactly what's going on [and] the pilots and other people who have seen it actually feel comfortable talking about it."

Luis Elizondo, ex-Pentagon UFO hunter: ‘We may not be alone’ - by Cheryl K. Chumly for The Washington Times (2017)

What’s Inside the Pentagon’s Long-Awaited UFO Report - by Matt Stieb and Chas Danner for Intelligencer

Surrounded From All Sides, The Pentagon Will Lose Its UFO Battle - And That Starts This Week In Congress - by Christopher Sharp for Liberation Times

Watershed U.S. UFO report does not rule out extraterrestrial origin - Steve Gorman for Reuters

Transcript: UFOs & National Security with Luis Elizondo, Former Director, Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program - by The Washington Post

"Last summer's UFO report raised more questions than answers and stunk of a government cover-up. The Pentagon's new office to collect information about UFOs cannot follow this pattern of secrecy. It needs to be transparent about its findings. Our country can handle the truth." - Representative Tim Burchett (includes official speech in the U.S. House of Representatives)

Why Would the Government Lie About Aliens? (Because there are so many potential answers, believers can choose the one that makes most sense to them.) - by Sarah Scoles for Slate.com

VIRGINIA BEACH IS APPARENTLY A UFO SIGHTING HOTSPOT - by Michael Walsh for Nerdist

‘Credible’ UFO sightings spotted by jet pilots are being ‘ignored by government’ - by Felix Allen for The Sun

Retired Navy pilot recalls Tic Tac encounter, wants to ‘normalize’ UFOs - Reuters (republished by New York Post)

Showtime’s ‘UFO’ Docuseries Includes a Dogfight Right Out of ‘Independence Day’ - by Brett White for Decider

Navy ‘Tic Tac’ UFO witness demands public apology for years of ridicule - by Steven Greenstreet and David Meyer

What flies in the in the air, zips through the ocean, and splits in two? Scientifically investigating the Aguadilla UFO incident - by Duncan Phenix and George Knapp for WJBF

Pentagon Watchdog to Examine How the U.S. Military Handles UFOs - by Brandi Vincent for Nextgov

The truth is still out there: why the current UFO craze may be a problem of intelligence failings - by Kyle Cunliffe for The Conversation

Pentagon whistleblower says UFOs have meddled with secret US nuclear weapons facilities and even forced some offline - calling actions a 'global threat'
* Luis Elizondo, the former head of the Pentagon's Advanced Aerospace Threat Identification Program, said UFOs have interfered with U.S. nuclear technology
* Several UFO sightings have been above secret nuclear weapons facilities and almost every major nuclear power across the globe has reported these sightings
* Elizondo said that the phenomenon is a national security 'concern,' and said that the same observation has been made in other countries, making it a 'global issue'
* Elizondo said considering the huge nuclear footprint the U.S. has there should be nothing surprising about increased interest by the UFOs
* The Pentagon's UAP Task Force is set to reveal their findings when they submit a long-awaited report on UFOs to Congress on June 25 - by Gina Martinez for The Daily Mail

These 5 UFO Traits, Captured on Video by Navy Fighters, Defy Explanation Called the '5 observables' by a former Pentagon investigator, they include hypersonic speed, erratic movement and the ability to fly without wings. - by Greg Daugherty and Missy Sullivan for History.com

Pentagon Consultant Briefed Senators on Discovery of ‘Off-World Vehicles Not Made on This Earth’ - by Brittany Bernstein

U.S. unable to explain more than 140 unidentified flying objects, but new report finds no evidence of alien life - by Shane Harris and Missy Ryan

“I HOPE THE MINDSET HAS CHANGED”: JOHN PODESTA IS THRILLED THAT CONGRESS FINALLY CARES ABOUT UFOS (The Clinton adviser has been on a decades-long mission to get the real skinny on aliens. With a report due to be released to Congress this week, his time has finally come.) - by Abigail Tracy for Vanity Fair

"We can't ignore this": UFO sightings spark concern from more than just conspiracy theorists Congress-sanctioned UFO report to detail 'unexplainable sightings all over the world' ... The director of national intelligence and secretary of defense were tasked with the UFO report for Congress expected in June - by Joel Shannon for USA Today

Ex-officials voice deep concerns over new Pentagon UFO unit - by Marik Von Rennenkampff for The Hill

UFO news: Pentagon whistleblower calls flying vessel sightings the worst 'intelligence failure' - by Nirmal Narayanan for International Business Times

I Want to Believe (What would religious leaders do if aliens showed up?) - by Josh Wilbur for Slate Technology

Sunday, November 14, 2021

Why Do Narcissists Feel So Entitled and Why are They So Rebellious?

ENTITLEMENT

According to the Help Guide article Narcissistic Personality Disorder:

Sense of Entitlement:
Because they consider themselves special, narcissists expect favorable treatment as their due. They truly believe that whatever they want, they should get. They also expect the people around them to automatically comply with their every wish and whim. That is their only value. If you don’t anticipate and meet their every need, then you’re useless. And if you have the nerve to defy their will or “selfishly” ask for something in return, prepare yourself for aggression, outrage, or the cold shoulder.

Entitlement is one of the major signs and symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (that whole article is worth reading if you are new to studying narcissism).

If you have a disagreement with the narcissist, expect that they will leave you with a list of demands that they expect to be fulfilled. If you don't fulfill them, you will be given the cold shoulder and they will try to smear your reputation and character. While it is extremely hurtful, don't take it personally - realize that it is part of their disorder.

Dr. Ramani Durvasula (whose video I have inserted below) makes a very good case that a narcissist's sense that they deserve entitlements that others do not deserve, has a deep connection to why they are not empathetic. I recommend it even though it's for narcissist's ears to hear, not their victims.

In most relationships with narcissists, make-ups aren't a mutual effort. They expect you to make all of the efforts and overtures (that's often the first time you see their entitlement). If you don't do it, most of them just give you the silent treatment and try to sully your reputation. It is their way of showing you contempt for not doing as they please. Most of them go on to someone new who they think will better serve their needs. Usually that is as far as it goes.

However, it can go much further where they are dangerous to you: stalking, threats, threats of physical or social harm, sexual abuse, financial threats and financial abuse, demands that put you in danger, kidnappings or false imprisonment, murder.

You won't know how dangerous they are. It depends on their personal make-up and how distracted they are with their new source of narcissistic supply. It also depends upon whether they get similar narcissistic supply that they used to get from you. And it depends on how enraged they become over time about the contact or lack of contact you give them (a warning: they usually aren't happy with either so it is usually a no-win situation).

When they are "supply deficient", when their grandiosity is going through incredible challenges, when they are being called upon to deal with any kind of shame-related or illegal activities that they perpetrated, when they have expressed violent behavior in the past (with peers, or children, or animals), they can become dangerous. If you don't know enough about the violence or illegal activities they perpetrated in their past, the advice is to usually plan an exit, to stay away from them and keep law enforcement in the loop by keeping a record of aggressive texts, e-mails, conversations and actions. Talk to a domestic violence counselor and to police if you think you may be in danger.

Which is to say that their entitlement to initiate punishments and afterwards to receive apologies, attention, for you to be obedient towards them and their wishes, to put up with their abuse can become quite harmful and happen in ways you do not expect.

But ... while they seem fine without you, and even try to promote a separation, there can be a double bind: they usually hate to be ignored. According to the Healthline article, What Is Narcissistic Rage, and What’s the Best Way to Deal with It?

Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence that can happen to someone with narcissistic personality disorder ...

... We all desire attention and admiration from the people around us.

But people with NPD may react with narcissistic rage when they aren’t given the attention that they feel they deserve.

This rage may take the form of screaming and yelling. Selective silence and passive-aggressive avoidance can also happen with narcissistic rage.

Most episodes of narcissistic rage exist on a behavior continuum. On one end, a person may be aloof and withdrawn. Their goal may be to hurt another person by being absent.

The next article I'll present to you basically says the same thing with the caveat that it's a no-win situation for you if you ignore them (when they go silent and you accept the silence between you) or when you engage with them (which is likely to bring out their overt rage and the demand that you give into them): What Happens When You Ignore a Narcissist? According to 8 Experts by the editors of Up Journey:

How will a narcissist react to being ignored:
If you ignore a narcissist and deny them their source, they may become enraged and try even harder for your attention – especially in ways that can be toxic or abusive. Ignoring a narcissist will enrage them because of their fragile egos. They’ll feel humiliated and lash out against you to protect themselves.

So for all intents and purposes, narcissists who hurt you by rejection and moving on to have a relationship with someone else, who forget about you or don't bother with you any more are a blessing compared to narcissists who become continually enraged that they didn't get what they wanted or expected to get from you (who are more likely to become dangerous). By the time you are discarded and they have moved on, perhaps you are exhausted from trying to please the impossible-to-please narcissist anyway. It certainly won't seem like a blessing at the time, but it can certainly be one later on as you realize that they were only in the relationship with you to attain more and more power, control and domination over you, and basically run your life.

However, if you are involved with a narcissist who is continually becoming enraged (or conversely hoovering and stalking you) over being ignored, what do most domestic violence counselors suggest that you do?

Most domestic violence counselors will be making suggestions that will keep you safe. A good domestic violence counselor will always make that their first priority. So the general advice is to accept the silent treatment, move on with your life, and if they become enraged to the point where they "punish you" for not giving into them (giving them what they want), these counselors tend to advise getting law enforcement involved. Stalking, harassment (including unwanted communications from them), threats, stealing, slander (smear campaigns), restraining you, financial abuse, false imprisonment, attempted murder, attempted violence and physical abuse are all illegal. Eventually all states in the United States are likely to have coercive control laws to add to this list too. You have rights to peace, boundaries and safety and to not be controlled and manipulated by someone else. Note: people who are controlling in a close personal relationship usually have narcissistic traits. I encourage you to look at the other traits they tend to exhibit (some of them are listed on the right side of this blog) to make a determination if that is who you are dealing with.

A lot of blogs having to do with narcissistic abuse (like the one I found here that is a great blog in terms of what happens when narcissists try to dismantle your reputation and life, but not a good one in terms of keeping safe). These kinds of articles will tell you to keep ignoring the narcissist as he or she ramps up the attacks via smear campaigns, however ignoring them also means they are ramping it up without resistance - quite abusive and dangerous. Abuse always escalates, and most of the time it continues to escalate whether you are talking to them or not. Smear campaigns are just abuse-by-proxy. So resorting to a strategy where you are just ignoring them and their aggressive behavior (or their passive aggressive behavior) and the problems and attacks they are perpetrating in your life are often not a great idea. Always remember that ignoring them (even if they are the ones who originally initiated a silent treatment or discard) can mean that their narcissistic rage is deepening into an obsession, to the point where they have to do something to you to get relief from the rage.

They are often thinking ahead on how to do destruction to you or your life, so you have to think ahead too on how to handle it. Being proactive in terms of reporting is a great way to achieve a record, and to get legal help when you need it. There are many other things to do, and for that a domestic violence counselor should be sought.

Be aware, however, that victims tend to downplay the abuse and violence they are receiving. "It's not that bad", "He (or she) loves me", "He has a hard day at work, so I give him a little leeway", "She has to take care of all of our kids and I understand why she goes off the deep end sometimes", "I can put up with it", "He (or she) wouldn't be doing this if I had apologized more" and so on. Under-reacting happens because you are overwhelmed (and cognitively in a fight or flight mode), so it's natural to diminish abuse (but it is also dangerous).

Most of the people I know who are continually exposed to narcissistic abuse (including abuse-by-proxy) eventually feel they have to move, go no contact, contact a lawyer, get police involved, to get some sort of relief and legal protection to totally avoid the narcissist and the destruction they are trying to wield. However, moving is not always your preference, or do-able. But sometimes moving and going "no contact" is the best strategy with the present laws and types of protections we have in the United States (where there are too many loopholes in the laws and not a consistent form of training when it comes to police enforcement and protection).

As far as entitlement goes, abusers in general feel entitled to abuse you. They will make all kinds of excuses for why they have a right to abuse and to be emotionally dysregulated (i.e. rage off the charts). The excuses run the gamut:
- "I was abused too as a kid. It was all I ever knew" - while it may be true, they have an obligation to clean up their act.
- "I fed you and took care of you! I was a much better parent than my parent!" - it may be true, but they have an obligation to seek help to stop abusing you.
- "It's just the way I am! I fly off the handle! If you don't like it, leave!" - good advice. Leave.
- "I'm sorry you're upset. I have a right to rage if I want to. I'm not obligated to be 'Mr. Smooth Emotions' around you." - this shows lack of empathy for what their rage is doing to you (one of the definitive characteristics of narcissism is lack of empathy). While technically rage isn't against the law, it is a form of intimidation that tends to get worse over time. Raging at you a lot is a power and control move: they count on their rage intimidating you enough where you will give in to what they want. It should be a deal-breaker in terms of trying to maintain a healthy relationship.
- "I'm sorry I insulted you so much, but you brought it upon yourself" - very typical phrase among abusers, and a sign of blame-shifting.
- "If you had vacuumed the room perfectly, I wouldn't have gone off on you like that.", "If you had taken all of the dishes out of the dishwasher when I told you to do it, I wouldn't have smashed up the kitchen" - perfectionism in an adult-to-adult relationship is a common expectation among abusers, and they use it as an excuse to abuse. Notice how imperfect they are and stop trying to reach their absurd standards of perfection ( I suggest the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy" as that movie demonstrates the absurd levels of perfection that can be expected over time).
- "Stop crying, or I'll strangle your scrawny little neck!" - they feel entitled to tell you when you get to express emotions. Most narcissists do not have empathy when you cry, and they find it irritating. Plus they get enraged when other people cry over how they are treated by them. It puts the abuser in a shame-rage spiral (when narcissists feel ashamed, unlike the rest of us, they rage - they also do not feel you have a right to shame them, which is another reason they rage). Also, believe them when they make threats of strangulation. They definitely feel entitled to threaten, abuse and rage when they are feeling ashamed by anything, including your crying.
However, just to put this in perspective, look at how much they shame you and others - probably a lot. Shaming is a form of abuse. Don't take any of this behavior personally and don't put up with their hypocrisies.

Some of the other common entitlements they expect:
- they often feel entitled to tell you what you think and what you feel and will often resist being corrected by you.
- they feel entitled to break your self esteem to teach you that they are more superior than you are, and that you should always be be their student.
- they feel entitled to teach you "behavior lessons" (i.e. to treat you like a child who needs to learn lessons from them on how to behave in ways that will make them happy and where they can feel emotionally regulated enough not to go into a rage)
- they feel entitled to shame you continually (to wreck your self esteem so that they can be in charge of what you do and what you say)
- they feel entitled to meddle in your career or job. Some of them don't want you to work at all, especially if they are jealous (boss, co-workers, people you have hired, the type of work you do, etc)
- they feel entitled to pit your spouse, siblings, children, grandparents, nieces and nephews, friends, co-workers, and boss against you.
- they feel entitled to treat their children like little slaves

- they feel entitled to break promises any time they feel like it
- they feel entitled to ignore your feelings

Need I go on? Narcissists can feel entitled to get everything they want, whether they hurt other people or not. The higher they are on the spectrum, the more entitled they will be.

WHY ARE NARCISSISTS SO REBELLIOUS?

One of the telling signs of a narcissist is road rage, going way past the speed limit, passing on the solid line, not letting you merge with traffic, hitting your car with their car and telling you that it was "all your fault".

If you are riding with them and you get into an argument in the car and you aren't responding the way they want you to, they can threaten to drop you off in the middle of nowhere and make you walk.

Some of the other things I have noticed personally:

* swimming in reservoirs (for drinking water) where there are clear signs that say things like "no swimming and no boating"
* on the Long Island ferry there are clear signs everywhere that cars should not be started until the boat docks and comes to a complete stop. But invariably the "entitled people" start their cars up anyway, sometimes way before they see land (to keep the heater on, to listen to music - gassing out the people in the car behind them).
* during the mask ordinance, a lot of the people who didn't wear masks felt that they had special immune systems, or special medications, that they could dodge the virus while watching the rest of their countrymen die or get sick (because, they reasoned, the average citizens had "inferior immunity", and lack of knowledge about medical or herbal "cures")
* break laws about nude swimming
* stealing
* if they are "financially challenged", and a car is unlocked with a wallet in the front seat, they might feel entitled to take it
* having affairs despite their marriage vows to stay faithful
* abandoning their children, and because they don't want to be embarrassed by that fact, they tell others that their children abandoned them instead
* they are caught cheating and to not be embarrassed it, they tell the person who caught them that their spouse is a domestic violence offender and that their new lover is saving them
* they indulge in domestic violence and child abuse even though it is illegal
* false imprisonment even though it is illegal
* trespassing even though it is illegal
* stalking, even though it is illegal
* threats to hurt their spouse or grown children if you don't do what they demand (illegal in some states in the USA under new coercive control laws, completely illegal in the United Kingdom)
* teaching a child how to shoot a pistol even though it is illegal
* killing wild animals out of season, harvesting more wild animals that is over the legal limit
* torturing wild animals in ways that are illegal
* setting traps where there are "no hunting, fishing or trapping" signs
* hunting on private property where there are "no hunting, fishing or trapping" signs, hunting within 100 yards of someone's house (both illegal)
* consumption and trafficking of illegal substances
* trafficking children or other human beings
* lie about how much alcohol and drugs they consume
* lie about cheating
* lie about being victimized when they are the victimizers
* then there is Jeffrey Epstein who felt entitled to have sex with a lot of underage girls, breaking the law blatantly, because he was wealthy, had co-conspirators, manipulated prosecutors into giving him "sweetheart deals" and had "dirt" on other wealthy people - he had all of the criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder plus some of the criteria for Antisocial Personality Disorder and communal narcissism.
* and then there are a lot of narcissists who don't want to care a shred about how you feel and what you've endured, and they also feel entitled to refuse to hear you out, but when you put up boundaries and refuse to talk to them about certain subjects, and want "out" of the relationship, they find it maddening and cruel

Most of these incidences show rebellion. In other words, they feel entitled to act in these ways, but do not want others in their life to act like this towards them.

This is all so confusing when it comes to children: "Am I supposed to do what you do, or am I supposed to only listen to what you want me to do? And by the way, why do you get to do what you don't want me to do?" That's where the cognitive dissonance starts: wrong is right somehow, and right is somehow wrong. If you are a good kid and tell the truth, you are somehow bad, and if you lie a lot (especially for them) you are good. That's just a small example of the thousands of mixed up messages kids get. And to make it all worse, one kid from the same family practically gets away with murder, while another kid can't even get away with a facial expression the narcissist doesn't like without getting abused over it. That is because narcissistic parents put their children in roles. And to randomize this set of circumstances, some narcissists change the roles on their children so that no child gets comfortable with consistent treatment!

One of the greatest hypocrisies that most people notice early on in a relationship with a narcissist is that they expect complete compliance, conventional adherence, loyalty, and even hate any signs of rebelliousness from their victims, but are often over-the-top rebellious themselves, refusing to live by the standards they set for others.

They feel free to thumb their noses at societal norms, to be disloyal, to lie and over-inflate what they do and who they are, even break laws, and to top it all off, too cowardly to confess when they've broken laws. But others? They want complete confessions and reparations, especially if abuses, mixed messages and crimes committed against them. They have expectations of others that they would never live up to themselves.

If they are so rebellious, why can't they give you a break when you are just a tad rebellious? Do they only give themselves a break to act out, and excuse themselves for acting out, and not you?

The answer to this is "yes".

And it is why it is so hard to respect them, or even listen to their defenses, lectures, insistences of compliance, and attacks on our character. We get fed up with their double standards and their "Do as I say and not as I do" stances and excuses.

It's all about how they feel entitled to "special treatment", the typical definition found in just about every major medical description of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Entitlement, rebelliousness, "it's okay for me to act like this, but not okay for you" attitudes, and all of the glaring and myriad hypocrisies around their entitlements are too hard to live with day in and out, for anyone ... They are also some of the first signs that we see when we have gotten to know narcissists a little for who they really are. We come to understand that entitlement explains why they break promises without any kind of feeling or introspection, but feel that others should not only keep their promises to the narcissist, but do everything the narcissist wants. What kind of fantasy world do they live in?

A big one.

Their entitlement and hypocritical rebellions are also one of the biggest contributors to why they are incapable of hanging on to deep authentic close personal relationships. They can't be close to people because they have a compulsion to control them in ways they can't be controlled = bad outcome for relationships of longevity.

"Introduction to Entitlement"

by Dr. Ramani Durvasula:
(my note: she makes the case that entitlement is deeply connected to their lack of empathy):

"Understanding the narcissist's entitlement (30 DAYS OF NARCISSISM) - Dr. Ramani Durvasula"

"When narcissists use their performance/accomplishments to justify their entitlement"
by Dr. Ramani Durvasula:

"Your Disobedience Toward A Narcissist's Control"
by psychologist Dr. Les Carter
for Surviving Narcissism

"7 Signs Of A Narcissist's Entitlement"
by psychologist, Dr. Les Carter:

"How To Handle A Narcissist - Dr. Phil"
with Dr. Phil McGraw:

also from Dr. Phil McGraw that I thought was really to the point
(he makes the case of why narcissists should not be in therapy):
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?