Note: I have edited this page since publishing to include a video by psychotherapist Rebecca Mandeville to include a particular kind of abuse ("Family Scapegoating Abuse") and what it does to a child's health early and later in life.
This page is going to be a catch-all page discussing how abuse effects us physically. Subjects I will be covering, with research, include the most well known and researched ones (links will be added as posts are added):
* headaches
* stomach aches, nausea, and general gastro-intestinal issues like Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, Gastroenteritis, Chronic Constipation, Chronic Diarrhea, allergies, Hiatal Hernia and Irritable Bowel Syndrome)
* body aches and muscle aches (sometimes through your entire muscular system)
* heart disease and general heart issues including pain in your heart (the "fight or flight" response effects the muscles, and the heart is a muscle, so abuse will cause pain in that part of your body too)
* profound lack of sleep (and on-going feelings of fatigue, which can also include "brain fog").
These are the major ones. But it can go further:
* weight loss and weight gain
* compromised immune responses, making you vulnerable to disease
* autoimmune disorders (studies are starting to emerge that autoimmune disorders are much, much more prevalent in adult survivors of child abuse than in other people, especially in children who are diagnosed or tested in school in terms of being a Highly Sensitive Child, which most scapegoats of abusive families tend to be)
* more rapid aging (studies have shown that many child abuse survivors, and survivors of domestic violence live shorter lives than they otherwise might have ... this is especially true for survivors who tend to self-medicate).
* cortisol issues from the stress of abuse
Mental health issues can also effect people who have been abused, but that is for another post. I will cover substance use disorder in that post, but it is just as much of a medical issue as a psychological one, but I had to choose one or the other, so I chose that one. I look forward to presenting those articles as this blog will be getting more and more into those issues, especially as I try to wrap up the big discussions and traits of narcissistic abusers.
I thought the medical issue was important enough to publish this preliminary page, and I found something on You Tube (link below) that addresses some of it. If you are having these symptoms, trauma therapy can help, especially if you greatly minimize or end contact/exposure to abusive, un-empathetic, power hungry people (i.e. people who display all of the narcissistic traits - found in the right column in this blog). In a lot of instances, it can help to ease some of the symptoms, and create a more stable health, as well as more peace of mind.
In the meantime, there is a video that addresses some of the research that has been done. And yes, I have read a lot of the same research articles that he cites in this video ... Dr. Ramani Durvasula also addresses some of these same issues, but hers tend to be for more specific health issues, and not a general overall view of all of the issues. Her main expertise and focus is on the Cluster B personality disorders, particularly Narcissistic Personality Disorder research at the University of Southern California, and how people who have this personality disorder effect the people around them. I feature her in a lot of articles already.
But for a generalized view, hopefully this video can serve as a good introduction to the subject (note: I write an edit and explanation at the end of the video):
Narcissistic Abuse Is A Leading Cause Of Illness And Disease.
from The Royal We Channel:
That's what I hear and what I have experienced when it comes to medical doctors.
The mind and body are not separate, and most doctors are amply aware of that.
by Rebecca Mandeville (or watch on You Tube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytSdn8nQCBg):
have to agree totally with this one , after years of no contact being held responsible for my mother who now has psychotic dementia is killing me by inches
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Kate. I'm surprised by the UK laws on this, especially as they have more progressive laws on abuse than the United States.
DeleteI know abuse led me to disability and autoimmune illness. Migraines, Meniere's, IBS, PCOS, autism, COPD/severe asthma/allergies, Lipedema stage 4 [Lipedema is said to be autoimmune in nature] the UCTD/Dermatomyositis, Psorasis, Hashiomotos/thyroid, chronic fatigue etc. I was disabled so young. I have had high cortisols too in the past. [Present endocrinologist doesn't think it's out and out Cushings]
ReplyDeleteI never could relax, that's what it comes down to, always on guard, never could sleep deep, worked to the bone constantly, never could just "be", the dramas were never ending. I definitely believe for many of us who end up with severe autoimmune disease who were abused, it's the being stuck in fight or flight constantly, the body can't take all the stress and breaks down. There's no place that feels safe.
Weight loss and gain are definitely related. When I had that huge weight gain I was under incredible stress, that will do it alone. Many others have shared their stories with me on that one.
The hormonal axis in the body basically breaks down.
My anxiety disorders too were off the charts. I've never blogged about this, sometimes think I will, I mention them but generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD and panic disorder all are part of my past diagnoses.
I agree if one can afford it, try and get trauma trained therapists. That is good advice, I think there's more help out there now when I was young.
I have told a few doctors about my abuse history and PTSD but am usually cautious in doing so.
Sometimes I do wonder how my health and life would have gone without all the abuse. I'm sure many others wonder about this too. I've seen too many medically and otherwise harmed people come out of abusive families.
Peeps,
DeleteI'm so sorry that you've been through all of this.
I think in your case, having two parents with Cluster B personality disorders, and on the very high end of the spectrum, created a "no safe zone" anywhere inside the family, and children, especially cannot handle that level of stress without deep, deep effects. So damaging. And from reading what you had to say on this subject, it was day in and day out without respite, so the lack of rest and peace is profound, could not be achieved in childhood.
The high escalation of symptoms and number of symptoms/diseases, as you know, is extraordinary. But so was your upbringing. Way too much trauma that the child within has never had a chance to heal. The thing about most abusive families is that there are other survivors in them, or often the other parent doesn't have NPD. In other words, there is usually some respite in these situations.
The extraordinary amount of trauma almost on a daily basis especially shows, and tells, the tale of the snowball effect of the autoimmune diseases, the trauma-related mental health diagnoses, the endocrine issues and diseases, and the gastro-intestinal disorders. That's a lot to live with getting through life and it would probably all have been prevented with different parents, and peace and love in the household.
It also shows how an NPD parent and psychopath parent don't really raise children, but little by little, destroy them. Why have children in the first place, if they are going to be disabled, and "no contact" when they become adults?
Hopefully your story serves as a warning to adult domestic violence survivors of partner abuse too, the ones who are more prone to going back (at least more prone than child abuse survivors - adult children already know what more endurance of "the unchangeable" is all about: just another cycle of rage from the NPD parent, and another batch of symptoms for the child).
Thanks Lise, I appreciate it. I've had some sad thoughts about how life turned out but some of that is related to the recent financial/Covid and health pressures. I did find out I don't have out and out Cushings, it may be just Lipedema and all the stuff I know about doing all this bad stuff to my health. I definitely have wondered how one person could have so much wrong. Yes it's extraordinary. Not the norm. Outside a brief time with the one loving aunt who lived very far away, you are right there was no safe zone, there also was not feeling of belonging either which I know made a major impact.
DeleteI don't remember having any peace or rest, even during times of play and "enjoyable" things like 4-H, I had to be ever vigilant. I had a weird memory how I had severe insomnia by age 8, up all night, never relaxed enough to sleep. I would read all night but obviously this definitely impacted my health. I sleep all the time now but not as a child.
I know I was very unfortunate not to have an understanding survivor or ally within the family. I suppose those circumstances are the luck of the draw, and yes mine were so severe on the higher end of the spectrum. I have lately wondered how much autism had to do with the severity of my scapegoating but it was never my fault of course but that may have heightened the ill treatment from such toxic parents. I'm glad you had some people who were loving around you and hope for others that doesn't happen where there's not one ally in the family.
The extraordinary amount of trauma almost on a daily basis especially shows, and tells, the tale of the snowball effect of the autoimmune diseases, the trauma-related mental health diagnoses, the endocrine issues and diseases, and the gastro-intestinal disorders. That's a lot to live with getting through life and it would probably all have been prevented with different parents, and peace and love in the household.
It also shows how an NPD parent and psychopath parent don't really raise children, but little by little, destroy them. Why have children in the first place, if they are going to be disabled, and "no contact" when they become adults?
Hopefully your story serves as a warning to adult domestic violence survivors of partner abuse too, the ones who are more prone to going back (at least more prone than child abuse survivors - adult children already know what more endurance of "the unchangeable" is all about: just another cycle of rage from the NPD parent, and another batch of symptoms for the child).
Reply
Thanks, Peeps. I hope your story here helps a lot of other people who are wondering if ill health is part of the picture of being abused. Yes. To those wondering, you can always go to a doctor if unsure.
DeleteAs for you, Peeps, I am glad you got away, and that you have a happy marriage, and can rest and sleep. With all of the other symptoms, I hope the doctors find some answers as to how you can heal from all of this. I'm praying that that is the case.
You have a lot to offer human-kind (your writing and art).