GOING "NO CONTACT" WITH FAMILY MEMBERS
* Is "No Contact" a Brainwashing of Masses of Adult Children to Hurt Their Parents?
- this post talks about whether "no contact" is about hurting parents or healing from trauma. It also takes the view of whether parents who want to punish their adult children for going "no contact" will send the right message.
- this post talks about whether "no contact" is about hurting parents or healing from trauma. It also takes the view of whether parents who want to punish their adult children for going "no contact" will send the right message.
BREAKING TRAUMA BONDS AND CO-DEPENDENCIES
* co-dependent no more in the abusive family
- this post talks about why sharing the power in a relationship is the healthier alternative to being in a relationship with a narcissist who selfishly tries to grab all of the power with "I have to have my own way all of the time" dictatorial terms.
- this post talks about why sharing the power in a relationship is the healthier alternative to being in a relationship with a narcissist who selfishly tries to grab all of the power with "I have to have my own way all of the time" dictatorial terms.
METHODS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH NARCISSISTS
AND OTHER KINDS OF ABUSIVE PEOPLE
AND OTHER KINDS OF ABUSIVE PEOPLE
* The DEEP method for survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
The word "DEEP" transfers to "Don't defend, don't explain, don't engage, and don't take it personally." It is a method that domestic violence therapists and psychologists who specialize in narcissistic abuse suggest to clients in abusive or gaslighting types of relationships to cut down on getting swept up in their arguments and verbal attacks, and also to keep from becoming reactive, since reactivity gives them narcissistic supply, and is often seen by them as "supplying them with more power".
Narcissistic supply comes in two forms:
* positive narcissistic supply: praise, flattery, sycophancy, submission, utmost loyalty, agreeing with their beliefs, agreeing with everything they say, agreeing to be their "fall guy", allowing them to control you, love bombing you successfully, enabling them in terms of false narratives and derisive gossip, believing they are the eternal victim in every situation or power grab that is not working out for them, being bonded to them in the way they want it (whether that is enmeshment or a trauma bond), building their ego.
* negative narcissistic supply: feeling hurt, crying, getting angry, feeling afraid or terrorized, getting frustrated with conversing with them, defending yourself, engaging in "you are --" types of arguments, explaining yourself (and hardly anything is comprehended), fighting against their power and control agendas (especially if they believe you're not succeeding and they are winning), gaslighting you effectively, "dividing and conquering" successfully (called triangulating), lying to you successfully (i.e. without you questioning their lies), getting power, control and domination through negativity (rage, crying, threatening, abusing, gaslighting, and all of the tactics that narcissists are known for - links to the page on narcissistic tactics).
* Some Possible Things to Say to Narcissists (an alternative to the DEEP method)
* A Major Publication, The New York Times, Talks About "The Gray Rock Method"
* Does the gray rock method work for family scapegoats? Scapegoat survivors weigh in.
The word "DEEP" transfers to "Don't defend, don't explain, don't engage, and don't take it personally." It is a method that domestic violence therapists and psychologists who specialize in narcissistic abuse suggest to clients in abusive or gaslighting types of relationships to cut down on getting swept up in their arguments and verbal attacks, and also to keep from becoming reactive, since reactivity gives them narcissistic supply, and is often seen by them as "supplying them with more power".
Narcissistic supply comes in two forms:
* positive narcissistic supply: praise, flattery, sycophancy, submission, utmost loyalty, agreeing with their beliefs, agreeing with everything they say, agreeing to be their "fall guy", allowing them to control you, love bombing you successfully, enabling them in terms of false narratives and derisive gossip, believing they are the eternal victim in every situation or power grab that is not working out for them, being bonded to them in the way they want it (whether that is enmeshment or a trauma bond), building their ego.
* negative narcissistic supply: feeling hurt, crying, getting angry, feeling afraid or terrorized, getting frustrated with conversing with them, defending yourself, engaging in "you are --" types of arguments, explaining yourself (and hardly anything is comprehended), fighting against their power and control agendas (especially if they believe you're not succeeding and they are winning), gaslighting you effectively, "dividing and conquering" successfully (called triangulating), lying to you successfully (i.e. without you questioning their lies), getting power, control and domination through negativity (rage, crying, threatening, abusing, gaslighting, and all of the tactics that narcissists are known for - links to the page on narcissistic tactics).
* Some Possible Things to Say to Narcissists (an alternative to the DEEP method)
* A Major Publication, The New York Times, Talks About "The Gray Rock Method"
* Does the gray rock method work for family scapegoats? Scapegoat survivors weigh in.
COMIC RELIEF IN TERMS OF HELPING WITH HEALING
* cures and musings for the holidays when you have abusers in your life
MUSINGS ABOUT WHY YOU ARE NOT BEING TREATED WELL
* my mother rejects me and doesn't love me because ...
- some musings that child abuse survivors feel in terms of unloving mothers
- some musings that child abuse survivors feel in terms of unloving mothers
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