What is New?

WHAT IS NEWEST ON THIS BLOG?
October 1 New Post: Why Narcissists Keep All of Their Relationships Transactional, and What That Has to Do With Discarding Others in Their Life.
September 24 New Post: Can Narcissists Give Up Gaslighting in a Relationship?
September 17 New Post: Do Narcissists React with Anger When They See Empathy in Others? The Dangerous Attraction Between Narcissists and Empaths
September 10 New Post: How the Reports on Brain Studies of Narcissists Effected How I Looked at Narcissistic Abuse, and My Ability to Go Forward Studying Narcissism. Includes a Discussion About Power. (part II)
August 29 New Post: A Neuroscience Video on Brain Studies of People with Clinically Diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and Brain Studies on Veterans and Victims of Narcissistic Abuse
August 27 New Post: Some Possible Things to Say to Narcissists (an alternative to the DEEP method) - edited with new information at the bottom of the post
August 7 New Post: Once Narcissists Try to Hurt You, They Don't Want to Stop. It's One of Many Reasons Why Most Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Eventually Leave Them. (edited)
July 24 New Post: Is Blatant Favoritism of a Child by a Narcissistic Parent a Sign of Abuse? Comes With a Discussion on Scapegoating (edited for grammatical reasons)
July 20 New Post: Why "Obey Your Elders" Can Be Dangerous or Toxic
June 19 New Post: Why Do Narcissists Hate Their Scapegoat Child?
May 26 New Post: Folie à deux Among Narcissists? Or Sycophants? Or Maybe Not Either?
April 29 New Post: Why Children Do Not Make Good Narcissistic Supply, Raising the Chances of Child Abuse (with a section on how poor listening and poor comprehension contributes to it) - new edit on 6/6
PERTINENT POST: ** Hurting or Punishing Others to Teach Them a Lesson - Does it Work?
PETITION: the first petition I have seen of its kind: Protection for Victims of Narcissistic Sociopath Abuse (such as the laws the UK has, and is being proposed for the USA): story here and here or sign the actual petition here
Note: After seeing my images on social media unattributed, I find it necessary to post some rules about sharing my images
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A CONTINUATION OF SURVIVORS REACTIONS, HEALTH ISSUES, WAYS TO HEAL AND OTHER PERTINENT POSTS

 

GOING "NO CONTACT" WITH FAMILY MEMBERS

* Is "No Contact" a Brainwashing of Masses of Adult Children to Hurt Their Parents?
   - this post talks about whether "no contact" is about hurting parents or healing from trauma. It also takes the view of whether parents who want to punish their adult children for going "no contact" will send the right message. 

BREAKING TRAUMA BONDS AND CO-DEPENDENCIES

co-dependent no more in the abusive family 
   - this post talks about why sharing the power in a relationship is the healthier alternative to being in a relationship with a narcissist who selfishly tries to grab all of the power with "I have to have my own way all of the time" dictatorial terms.

METHODS ON HOW TO DEAL WITH NARCISSISTS
AND OTHER KINDS OF ABUSIVE PEOPLE

* The DEEP method for survivors of Narcissistic Abuse
     
The word "DEEP" transfers to "Don't defend, don't explain, don't engage, and don't take it personally." It is a method that domestic violence therapists and psychologists who specialize in narcissistic abuse suggest to clients in abusive or gaslighting types of relationships to cut down on getting swept up in their arguments and verbal attacks, and also to keep from becoming reactive, since reactivity gives them narcissistic supply, and is often seen by them as "supplying them with more power".  
     Narcissistic supply comes in two forms:
     * positive narcissistic supply: praise, flattery, sycophancy, submission, utmost loyalty, agreeing with their beliefs, agreeing with everything they say, agreeing to be their "fall guy", allowing them to control you, love bombing you successfully, enabling them in terms of false narratives and derisive gossip, believing they are the eternal victim in every situation or power grab that is not working out for them, being bonded to them in the way they want it (whether that is enmeshment or a trauma bond), building their ego. 
     * negative narcissistic supply: feeling hurt, crying, getting angry, feeling afraid or terrorized, getting frustrated with conversing with them, defending yourself, engaging in "you are --" types of arguments, explaining yourself (and hardly anything is comprehended), fighting against their power and control agendas (especially if they believe you're not succeeding and they are winning), gaslighting you effectively, "dividing and conquering" successfully (called triangulating), lying to you successfully (i.e. without you questioning their lies), getting power, control and domination through negativity (rage, crying, threatening, abusing, gaslighting, and all of the tactics that narcissists are known for - links to the page on narcissistic tactics). 

Some Possible Things to Say to Narcissists (an alternative to the DEEP method)

A Major Publication, The New York Times, Talks About "The Gray Rock Method"

Does the gray rock method work for family scapegoats? Scapegoat survivors weigh in.

COMIC RELIEF IN TERMS OF HELPING WITH HEALING

cures and musings for the holidays when you have abusers in your life

MUSINGS ABOUT WHY YOU ARE NOT BEING TREATED WELL

my mother rejects me and doesn't love me because ...
   
- some musings that child abuse survivors feel in terms of unloving mothers

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