Misadventures with Angry Alcoholics, Bullies and Narcissists: negative narcissistic supply

Showing posts with label negative narcissistic supply. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 1, 2025

Why Narcissists Keep All of Their Relationships Transactional, and What That Has to Do With Discarding Others in Their Life.

This post is primarily written so that you can be aware of this narcissistic trait and make your own decisions about whether you want to tolerate inter-personal relationships that are only transactional in nature, and have found out that the person you may be relating to seems like they have some, most, or all of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder as written in DSM5.

This post gives you a little about what transactional relationships are with narcissists, what purpose it serves for them, and why you often get a discard from them when you are not doing exactly what they demand, or want, or if "they get sick of you".

What I mean by discard:

* a swift cruel rejection
* an impulsive rejection
* a rejection without an explanation or an explanation that is short, or confusing, or twisted, or not logical, or is projection-oriented, or is hypocrisy-oriented.
* a swift rejection where they will not consider talking out relationship issues between you
* a possible rejection where they believe they will get an apology from you, so that they can re-establish control over you and get more power in the relationship with you (more of a manipulation)
* a possible rejection to make you suffer financially, or emotionally in order to scare you sufficiently so they can get you back again and call all of the shots; i.e. control you better than they did before (more of a manipulation)
* a rejection to "play" with your self esteem, and to see if they can lower it or destroy it
* a rejection because you are perceived to be too difficult to control
* a rejection because they are bored (narcissists have little tolerance for boredom)
* a rejection because they have a new source of narcissistic supply that they think is better than your particular versions of it
* a swift rejection to get a reaction out of you (i.e. to gain negative narcissistic supply from you: anger, tears, begging, fear).
* a rejection because they feel they have been criticized (note: narcissists give themselves the right to criticize others, even constantly, even with a lot of cruelty, but do not give you the same privilege - narcissists also tend to rage and punish if they feel criticized, and it doesn't take much for them to feel criticized)
For more information, go here.

Do not take "discards" personally as most narcissists behave in this manner.

It's a trait common to almost all narcissists, and a trait that is uncommon among the rest of us. They even discard their children, or one child (usually a scapegoat child) and a spouse or two. Dark Triads (people with the traits of narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism) are known to have blatant affairs in front of their spouses to "play with" or damage their spouse's self esteem.

Narcissists also do not have the empathy to care how discards make you feel.

When dealing with another person's discard, you can think about whether you want to be in a relationship like this. Also realize that narcissists will often discard you again, and again, and that it is often a feature of their relationships and the cycle of abuse. Their promises to change, and to do better by you are often fake for the very reason that this has to do with their personality disorder, a disorder very unlikely to change.

When narcissists get to know you, and as they take control of you, and your life, and get narcissistic supply from you, something is bound to happen where you either won't do what they tell you to do (where they feel they are losing control of you), or if they are generally feeling dissatisfied with the amount of power they have, or the amount of times they are getting their way, or they aren't sabotaging you enough to their satisfaction, they will probably eventually do a discard. The exceptions are narcissists without all of the traits in the DSM5, narcissists who are old and don't have the time to take great chances with their relationships any more, narcissists who are disabled and don't think they can successfully launch a discard that will go in their favor, and narcissists who feel they have more to gain keeping you than losing you, if you have a lot of prestige and clout and they feel they cannot "mess with a discard", and other issues where they feel they may go through more of a narcissistic collapse than getting more power by discarding you.

This post is a combination of a "link dump" with quite a bit of commentary. You can look through the links dumped here (below), or go through the Google AI links to find more articles and studies in Google Search.

I present this Google AI article first (but you can go through that same link to go through Google's Search engine for more articles):

Narcissists have transactional relationships because they view people as tools to fulfill their needs for attention, admiration, status, and power, rather than as individuals with their own feelings. Their impaired empathy prevents them from forming genuine emotional bonds; instead, they focus on what they can gain from a person, leading to relationships that are a calculated exchange of benefits rather than a connection of love and care.

Why relationships are transactional for narcissists:

Lack of Empathy:

* Narcissists struggle to understand or value others' needs and feelings, making it difficult for them to form deep, emotional attachments.

Self-Centered Motivation:

* Their primary motivation is self-interest and ego enhancement. They are only interested in relationships as a means to get what they want, such as constant admiration (narcissistic supply), power, or status.

People as Tools:

* They see other people as objects or tools to serve their own purposes and needs. A person is kept around only as long as they are useful or provide "supply".

Business Mindset:

* Relationships operate like a business transaction: the narcissist aims to get the maximum benefit for the minimum input, as noted by the Psychology Today article.

No Genuine Connection:

* Instead of developing love, commitment, and intimacy, the narcissist sees these as drawbacks because they can restrict their options.

Discarding When Unuseful:

* When a person no longer provides the desired benefits, the narcissist will discard them and seek a new source of supply, similar to discarding a used commodity.

Exploiting for Needs:

* They will perform nice actions only if they expect a "payment" in return, such as consistent adoration and support, even if it's a small gesture on their part.

Do narcissists primarily insist on transactional relationships with their own children, a spouse or two, and their "best friends"? Yes.

If you want a love relationship and are not happy with a transactional relationship, you are not alone. Most people want their closest personal relationships to be deep emotional, long lasting connections where both people are engaged in consistent love, empathy and trustworthy behavior. They do not like being used by narcissists for narcissistic agendas (which are almost exclusively about power, control, domination, exploitation and narcissistic supply and not much more than that).

You simply cannot have deep, loving, empathetic stable relationship with narcissists and they blow up at you or discard you if they think you are unhappy with them or critical of them, if they think they are losing power over you, if they think you have differing opinions from them and so much more. Most narcissists are cruel, dysregulated people out for selfish ends or to sabotage people they are jealous of, or who they think might surpass them in some way.

That's a god-awful close personal relationship to be in, or stuck in. You aren't an anomaly if you think it's as awful as you feel it is.

And it has nothing to do with you. You cannot change this trajectory through loving the narcissist more, or doing everything they demand, or by letting them take their aggressions out on you, or asking them to be kinder, or working harder and harder for them, or giving them continuous empathy, or even giving them continuous narcissistic supply throughout the day and night. It's a brain matter in them. The link explains: reduced gray matter in their insula, abnormal activity in the prefrontal cortex, probable dysfunctional connectivity in the frontostriatal pathway (this is still being studied), over-activity in parts of the brain that contributes to excessive self focus.

The excessive self focus without being able to get out of it is something that is happening inside them, on a physiological level, which is why efforts towards healthy bonding with narcissists cannot work. Not only will healthy efforts not work by your efforts, they will cause enormous stress for you at the very least, and debilitating physical and psychological symptoms at the worst. What is more, narcissists will never care how those symptoms effect you because of their profound lack of empathy (which is also a brain matter for them).

There are also adverse changes when healthy individuals get stuck in long term trauma bonded relationships with narcissists including the shrinkage of the hippocampus (which can grow back when the stress of being around the narcissistic individual is removed) and high levels of cortisol which directly effect the immune system.

So much of this is why I finally decided to be narcissist-free in my own life and so that I could fulfill a destiny of a lightworker.

I continue some of this thought-line at the end of the blog post.

In terms of the question: How do most people feel about transactional relationships with narcissists I found this from Google AI:

Most people feel negatively about transactional relationships with narcissists, experiencing confusion, unease, and a sense of walking on eggshells, as these interactions are characterized by a lack of true empathy, constant manipulation, and emotional punishment rather than genuine connection. People in these relationships often feel like their needs are ignored, they are being exploited, and they are trapped in a cycle of giving without receiving anything of genuine value.

Negative Emotions and Experiences

* Unease and Confusion: Relationships with narcissists often leave people feeling confused and uneasy, constantly questioning the narcissist's mood and intentions.

* Walking on Eggshells: Victims learn to be hyper-vigilant, constantly monitoring their words and actions to avoid anger, punishment, or withdrawal from the narcissist.

* Lack of Genuine Connection: A fundamental lack of empathy prevents narcissists from forming deep, reciprocal relationships, leading to feelings of isolation and being unloved for who one truly is.

* Emotional Abuse and Punishment: When expectations aren't met, narcissists may punish partners by withdrawing affection, attention, or emotional support.

The Transactional Nature of the Relationship

* Self-Interest Driven: Narcissists approach relationships with self-interest, viewing others as having a function to fill rather than as separate individuals with feelings.

* Exploitation and Control: The relationship is about the narcissist's needs, with the other person's empathy and contributions exploited to meet those needs.

* One-Sided Exchange: The narcissist gives little and demands much, creating an imbalanced dynamic where the partner feels like they are constantly giving without receiving.

* Replacement and Uselessness: If a partner fails to provide the necessary "supply," they are considered useless and may be ignored or replaced by others.

Long-Term Effects on Individuals

* Mental Health Issues: These relationships can lead to increased anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

* Erosion of Self-Worth: The constant manipulation and disrespect chip away at a person's self-esteem and can make them feel like they must earn love or be perfect to be worthy of it.

MORE GOOGLE AI ARTICLES
(narcissistic discard of relationships and the transactional relationships of sociopaths):

Are discards of people from their life the result of the narcissist looking at relationships as transactional? from Google AI:

Yes, a narcissist's discarding of a partner is a direct result of viewing the relationship as a transaction. In this framework, people are not viewed as partners but as "supply" to serve the narcissist's ego and needs. When a partner is no longer seen as useful, they are discarded.

The transactional nature of a narcissistic relationship

For a narcissist, a relationship is not an emotional bond but an exchange, and their interest is conditional. The transactional view operates in distinct stages:

* Idealization: In the beginning, the narcissist engages in "love bombing," showering their partner with affection and attention. This is not genuine intimacy but an investment to secure the loyalty and admiration that will serve their needs.

* Devaluation: Once the narcissist is sure they have captured their partner, the transaction shifts. The narcissist begins to devalue their partner with criticism and gaslighting. At this point, the partner's emotional well-being becomes secondary to the narcissist's need for control and superiority.

* Discard: When the narcissist becomes bored, feels their partner is no longer useful, or finds a "better" source of supply, they terminate the relationship. The discard is often abrupt and cold because it is not an emotional decision, but a practical one based on what the narcissist can gain.

Discarding serves the narcissist's ego

The discard is a crucial part of the transaction, serving several self-centered purposes for the narcissist:

* Reasserting control: The narcissist re-establishes dominance by causing confusion and keeping their ex-partner grasping for answers and reconciliation.

* Avoiding accountability: By discarding first, they avoid the risk of being rejected themselves or having to confront the problems they created in the relationship.

* Ego fuel: The ex-partner's pain and grief become a source of satisfaction, proving the narcissist's own significance.

* Securing new supply: Discarding one person clears the way to pursue new sources of validation and admiration.

* Conditional love and the lack of empathy

A lack of empathy prevents narcissists from seeing their partners as individuals with their own feelings and needs. This means that the narcissist's "love" is always conditional—it lasts only as long as the partner is meeting their needs for admiration, control, and validation. When the partner sets boundaries or is no longer a useful "supply," their worth in the narcissist's transactional view is immediately diminished, and they become disposable.

Since some narcissists also display Antisocial Personality Disorder (sociopathic) traits resulting in Malignant Narcissism or the Dark Triad, I thought I'd give you some answers about their transactional types of relationships too. Note: Narcissists with sociopathic traits can have a little or a lot of sociopathic traits. If you see sociopathic traits, "You're in trouble" as the saying goes.

from Google AI:

Yes, sociopaths primarily seek transactional relationships. Their relationships lack genuine emotional connection and are instead based on personal gain, such as power, money, status, or pleasure. For a sociopath, relationships are not about mutual care and emotional support but about what they can get out of the other person.

How sociopaths use transactional relationships

* Manipulation: Sociopaths are skilled manipulators who use charm, guilt-tripping, and lying to influence others. In the early stages, they may engage in "love bombing," where they shower a partner with excessive affection to create a false sense of a deep emotional bond and secure the partner's loyalty and dependency.

* Lack of empathy: A key trait of sociopathy is a lack of empathy, making it difficult for them to form sincere attachments. Because they cannot truly understand or share in others' feelings, they view others as objects to be used, not people with needs and emotions.

* Control and exploitation: Sociopaths will often seek to dominate and control their partners or associates through various means, including emotional, financial, or physical abuse. This can include isolating their partner from friends and family to increase their dependence.

* Shallow and short-term focus: Their focus is on short-term gains and immediate pleasure rather than long-term commitment. A sociopath may drop a person once they have nothing left to offer and then move on to exploit a new victim.

* Opportunistic loyalty: Any loyalty they show is conditional and serves their own interests rather than stemming from genuine affection. When a partner no longer provides a benefit, that loyalty can end instantly.

The consequences for their partners

A relationship with a sociopath can be emotionally and psychologically damaging. Partners often experience:

* Feelings of confusion and betrayal due to the sociopath's deceit and inconsistent behavior.

* Eroded self-esteem caused by constant manipulation and gaslighting.

* Emotional distress, including anxiety, depression, and loneliness.

* Feelings of isolation as the sociopath works to sever their connection to outside support systems.

Wednesday, September 24, 2025

Can Narcissists Give Up Gaslighting in a Relationship?

As with many posts I will be publishing, this post is primarily a "link dump" where I put in links because there are so many good articles now that you can read up on this subject yourself.

I have written a post on gaslighting myself HERE.

To answer the question, "Can narcissists give up gaslighting in a relationship?" And by the way, narcissists are known for gaslighting. If they have all or a lot of the traits of the personality disorder in the DSM, you'll probably find that it is one of their most obvious traits, and that the high majority of them use gaslighting in their relationships.

My first stop was Google Search and Google AI. This is the Google AI article - in dark red (note: I continue with my own findings below this article):

In a relationship, it is highly unlikely that a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) will completely stop gaslighting. Gaslighting is a core manipulative tactic narcissists use to maintain control and protect their fragile ego, and they have very little motivation to stop.

Why narcissists rarely give up gaslighting

* Need for control: A narcissist must control the narrative and their partner's perception of reality to feel dominant. When they can no longer manipulate you, they often panic and escalate their tactics.

* Inability to take accountability: Admitting fault or being wrong shatters the narcissist's carefully constructed false image of perfection. To avoid shame, they twist facts, rewrite history, and blame their partner, all of which are forms of gaslighting.

* Lack of empathy: Narcissists lack the emotional capacity to understand or care about the hurt their gaslighting causes. They view relationships as a zero-sum game, where they must win and you must lose.

* It works for them: For the narcissist, gaslighting is a successful tactic that has helped them get what they want for years. They have no reason to change a strategy that allows them to avoid responsibility and maintain their superiority.

Can a narcissist ever change?

Significant, lasting change is rare and depends on a series of difficult conditions that are seldom met.

* Willingness for therapy: The person must genuinely acknowledge their harmful behavior and commit to intensive, long-term therapy. However, their ego and a pervasive lack of self-awareness make narcissists famously resistant to treatment.

* External consequences: Some narcissists may seek therapy if they face a major consequence, such as the threat of losing an important relationship. But even then, there is no guarantee they will put in the necessary effort.

* Not for love: You cannot love or support a narcissist into changing their behavior. The decision and motivation must come from them alone, and a manipulator may exploit a partner's hope for change to maintain control.

How to protect yourself from a gaslighting narcissist

Because genuine change is so unlikely, it is crucial to focus on protecting your own well-being.

* Document everything: Keep a journal of events and conversations to counter the narcissist's manipulation and remind yourself of the truth.

* Set and enforce boundaries: Clearly communicate what you will and will not tolerate. Be prepared to stand firm on these boundaries, as the narcissist will inevitably try to push them.

* Do not react: The narcissist is trying to provoke a reaction to use against you. Do not engage in arguments, and do not take their behavior personally.

* Seek professional support: A therapist can provide support, help you validate your experiences, and assist you in identifying when you are being manipulated.

* Consider leaving the relationship: If the abusive behavior continues, the healthiest and safest option for your mental health may be to leave. Your well-being must come first.

The reason why they see no need to give it up is that this tool, even though it is abusive to others, and even though it has been categorized as abuse by psychologists around the world, and even though it can cause C-PTSD in their victims, especially victims who are children. it helps with their main agenda of why they are in relationships in the first place: to gain evermore power, control and domination over you. It is also a cornerstone of coercive control. And coercive control can lead to relational violence.

SOME OF THE WAYS IT WORKS FOR PERPETRATORS

They feel they get to play with your sanity, that it is the easiest and fastest way to get power, control and domination for themselves: by constantly re-framing and altering reality to suit themselves, they hope to either build a trauma bond or co-dependent relationship with you. It's a type of entrapment where they hope you will look to them to define your world, define yourself, need approval from them, and how to re-define situations you are in.
If you aren't looking to them the way they want, not giving credence to their distorting your reality, or believing in their lies, or refusing to see situations the way they want you to, or if they have been caught in a lie, they gaslight as a way to justify devaluing and discarding.

In devaluing and discarding you, they continue to distort reality by telling others in smear campaigns that they left you because you were crazy. Then they try to paint themselves as the "true victim" so that common friends or common family will help them rather than help you.

Perspecticide, is also, in essence, gaslighting. With perspecticide they define how you are feeling and thinking without your input. They also argue with you about how you think and feel (i.e. they don't believe you are telling the truth about how you feel and think).

They believe that gaslighting helps them avoid accountability for their actions.

They believe that gaslighting helps to get them superiority over others.

They believe that it induces other's dependence on them wherein they can call the shots in the relationship and therefor somewhat enslave people to do what they want.

They believe gaslighting will help them convince you to have doubts about others you are close to in order to isolate you with only their perspectives and distortions.

It is used as a weapon for increasing other's insecurities, decreasing other's self esteem, and negating other's needs to be heard and understood.

Narcissists also use gaslighting to spread false gossip.

They believe it helps them get you to accept minimizing your own pain and suffering. Narcissists often feel that the less pain and suffering they have to deal with from you, the more the attention is focused on them.

They believe gaslighting helps them to undermine your credibility, perspectives and intelligence.

Gaslighting is used to highlight the good they do while simultaneously trying to bury their abusive natures, or the bad that they do to others.

Narcissists use gaslighting as a form of intimidation, retaliation, bullying and to win an argument at all cost to your relationship with them, and often with "you are" statements which they think may help to erode the victim's credibility and perspectives more.

Apparently all of these are difficult for narcissists to give up.

....

In another post I will explain how gaslighting effects victims. In child victims it can have life long consequences, including disabilities in terms of organizing and organized thought patterns and processes, memorizing for tests in school, possible inability to keep to procedures, possible hypervigilance, possible "failure to launch", an inability to regulate strong emotions and possible C-PTSD symptoms and disassociation because in narcissistic family systems being called crazy usually has elements of attack and shaming, both of which are categorized as a form of abuse when taken to the level of gaslighting.

Gaslighting can also erode a child's real personality because he or she is constantly being derisively judged as "crazy" and "without value".

Most scapegoats of narcissistic family systems are labeled as crazy.

Thursday, August 7, 2025

Once Narcissists Try to Hurt You, They Don't Want to Stop. It's One of Many Reasons Why Most Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse Eventually Leave Them.

(edited)

So, before you shame the next victim of narcissistic abuse for divorcing their spouse, or for a child who prefers to be estranged from a parent or sibling, or for letting a rift come between two best friends, consider that the reason may be that one of them has many or all of the traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and that this narcissist is actually on a campaign to hurt the person they claim to love.

And if they do have this personality disorder, plus some power over you, and they have hurt you once, and continued to try to hurt you, consider that narcissistic traits in the "hurter" might be the culprit.

Some reasons why narcissists want to hurt other people, and why they go on retaliation and revenge binges:

* when they feel hurt over your complaints or criticisms about them, or in situations they manage
They take complaints and criticisms as insults to their ego, an ego they feel must be worshipped, not found to be at fault. When dealing with others' complaints and criticisms, narcissists rage. They feel disappointed in the messenger of those complaints and criticisms. For covert narcissists and malignant narcissists, they most often want to seek revenge.
Take note however: most narcissists believe that you have no right to complain about or criticize them because they put themselves in higher status and value than others, whereas they criticize other people in extreme ways: insults, degrading comments, false narratives, smear campaigns with only a little truth, fantasy scenes which make you seem to be the instigator.
They call on others to have a bad opinion of you even if they don't know you, calling on others to hurt you.
In fact, they try to out-do you in extreme ways with complaints and criticisms, as well as take on aggressive behaviors.
This shows a number of things:
-first: that they have narcissistic traits, and maybe even the whole personality disorder, and possibly even other personality disorders too, especially if the revenge is so extreme that you wonder when they'll be done, or they use sabotage, crimes, physical abuse, and physical injury or attempted murder to make their point, the sign of either malignant narcissism or psychopathy.
-second: entitlement. Narcissists feel entitled to hurt you, but that you aren't entitled to walk away from them because of the hurt they caused. They also believe you are not entitled to defend yourself against their attacks, or to call the police if a crime that they instigate or get someone else to instigate against you seems connected to them, or to live happily ever after without them. They can't stand any of these, so there is a great resentment against others' boundaries.
-third: boundaries. They believe they are so special that they have a right to traverse and crash everyone's boundaries. This includes emotional, mental and often physical boundaries. It also includes a right to interrogate you, or demean you.
If they are home invading, stealing, stalking, trespassing, and sabotaging, this points more towards Antisocial Personality Disorder or Malignant Narcissism.

* when they feel slighted when you don't invite them to important events in your life, or to a party, and believe it means they have a right to seek revenge over it
Narcissists feel too important to be taken for granted, forgotten about, overlooked, or to be unwanted company.
They assume they control others more than they actually do (they even think they control others' thoughts and opinions), that they are always the most important person in the room, that people always listen with baited breath to what they have to say while disregarding what others have to say, that others will always be careful not to step on their ego ("walking on eggshells"), that they "own" the event to which they are invited to some degree. They are not at events to get to know others except in gleaning information on how much influence they, the narcissist, can insert into conversations. This is one way they find both new narcissistic supply and new victims.
Since "not being invited" is a bruise to their ego, their highly crafted "perfect persona", and sense of importance, entitlement and grandiose visions of themselves, they tend to get hurt and retaliate.
They may do a tit-for-tat and stop inviting you to their events too, but more likely they will go way beyond that in revenge-seeking.

* when they feel they are losing control and power over you or over the events in your life that they believe they have a right to control
One of the big things narcissists feel they have a right to control are the weddings of their children (and to some extent their grandchildren). This includes the cake, the guest list, the dress or tux, and anything else they can think of. It's the rare narcissist who says, "You can run your wedding any way you want to. If you need my support, I'm here for you." That is so obvious in forums for child abuse survivors.
That is the more well known control they exert, but there are also plenty more.
If you are in a close personal relationship with them, they also feel entitled to control what you say, how you say it, where you go, what you do, what you tell them, who you have relationships with, what career you choose, how you manage your career, how you dress, what you do with your hair, everything. They are even known to try to micro-manage situations they aren't part of and know nothing about.
If you are in a work environment with them, they typically use gossip, tell false narratives to the boss, sabotage your work, take credit for your work and other maneuvers to make sure they are promoted and that you are demoted (or fired). Note: if bosses don't look into situations carefully, they can be taken in by narcissists. If they are adamant that the narcissist is right, then you can't talk them out of it. You can read my post on enablers and flying monkeys in narcissistic abuse to understand the dynamic. The work environment is likely to get more toxic than less toxic if narcissists are promoted.
If they've gained that kind of control over you, and feel they are losing it later on, or if you've come upon a false narrative or two that they've told about you, and you are showing distrust of them over these facts, then they are likely to go on a revenge binge.
They don't like losing power and position, and have to know they are always going to get more power, not less of it, and while rage is certainly part of losing power for them, it's a rare narcissist who won't retaliate too.

* when you aren't walking on eggshells for them
Narcissists feel they are too sensitive, that they need special care and that your duty is to be careful around their super sensitive feelings.
Fine, but they aren't sensitive to other people's feelings by a long shot because of their profound lack of empathy.
This makes it very difficult to be super sensitive to them when they are hammering away at you with such callousness.
When you've had enough, they'll play the victim. The only person they notice who is hurt is them, always and forever, because again, they don't care about your feelings (because of their lack of empathy).
If you don't come rushing to their aid immediately, when they want it, they feel you are a calloused brute who can't toughen up when they hurt you. So they want to hurt you more.
There is so much hypocrisy in these situations that it is hard to turn yourself inside out to address their feelings when most likely, because of their narcissism, they instigated it, they took hurting you to such extremes, they never offered a realistic resolution, and all you want to do is leave.
Their playing the victim in these kinds of situations perhaps nauseates you too.
When you aren't taken in by their being the victim instead of acknowledging that they victimized you, then they start playing the victim in front of others, inserting a lot of false narratives about what happened between the two of you, making sure they turn you into the instigator, making sure they make everything that happened totally your fault, etc. Believe it or not, a lot of narcissists still expect you to save their sorry ass.
When you don't save their ass, they go on a revenge binge.

So let's say they have decided the best way to react to being hurt is to go on a retaliation spree. Where does it end? How much destruction satisfies them? And do they keep wanting to hurt you once they have started?

Yes to all of it.

For part of this answer, I went to Google AI and Google Search. I give you the Google AI answer below in dark red, and you can search through articles through the same link.

There's a saying, "Hurt people hurt people," and it often applies to individuals with narcissistic tendencies. While it might seem counterintuitive to keep hurting someone they've already harmed, several factors contribute to this behavior:

Lack of Empathy and Self-reflection

* Narcissists struggle with empathy, meaning they have a diminished ability to understand or share the feelings of others.

* They may not fully grasp the depth of pain they inflict because their reality is distorted and focused on their own needs and perspectives.

* This lack of self-awareness makes it difficult for them to recognize the impact of their actions or take responsibility for causing harm.

Underlying Insecurities and Fragile Ego

* Despite appearing confident, narcissists harbor deep insecurities and a fragile sense of self.

* To protect their ego, they may employ defense mechanisms like projecting their flaws onto others and blaming them for their own insecurities or past traumas.

* Hurting others can be a way to regulate their own emotions and boost their self-esteem, even if it's temporary.

The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

* Narcissists may engage in a cycle of abuse that includes love bombing, devaluation, and discard stages, where the victim is idealized, then criticized and put down, and finally cast aside.

* When a narcissist feels challenged or threatened, they may lash out in narcissistic rage, which is characterized by intense anger and a need to regain control.

* This cycle perpetuates as the narcissist struggles to maintain a sense of superiority and control, and may repeat hurtful behaviors to ensure the victim remains under their influence or subservient to them.

Pleasure from seeing others suffer

* Some narcissists, especially those with sadistic or malignant traits, may derive pleasure from the pain and humiliation of others, according to Medium.

* They may see it as a way to prove their own superiority and get the "narcissistic supply" they need to feel good about themselves.

It's important to remember that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder or strong narcissistic traits are operating from a place of deep pain and insecurity. While it's crucial to acknowledge the harm they cause, it's also essential to understand the underlying psychological factors driving their actions.

If "the retaliations" are scary and seem like the actions of a "disturbed person" and they are escalating, this article by Psychology Today called "The Hidden Danger of the Homicidal Narcissist

When ego threats, perceived slights, and romantic rejections can lead to murder" might be helpful.

Note: Most victims of narcissistic abuse tend to downplay the amount of danger they are in (meaning they are usually in much more danger than they realize).

So here are some traits to watch out for to tell whether you are in any danger. The more of these things there are, the more dangerous the person is.

* A need to get negative narcissistic supply from you
Negative narcissistic supply would mean the narcissist is feeding on these emotions from you:
being upset and sad: being upset means, to them, that they have control over your emotions, that if they try to upset you, they will realize they have that kind of power over you. It's another sign to them that they can make a puppet out of you. If you are bothered by them throwing out your clothes, they'll be sure to "up" throwing your clothes away just to upset you, and then play dumb afterwards.
If you are sad, to them it means they have managed to effect you in a negative way. They may do things that upset you more. If you don't like your dog running in the street, they will send your dog out to run in the street and then play dumb afterward. If you don't like ginger cake, they'll buy you a ginger cake especially for your birthday. If talking about a certain subject makes you feel sad and you don't like to re-visit those sad memories, they'll make constant excuses as to why they need to keep bringing it up.
sabotaging you: a lot of negative narcissistic supply comes from sabotaging you. Let's say you get a promotion at work, and they not only do not celebrate the event with you, they also decide to rage at you and start an erroneous argument so that your attention is on them instead of your promotion. They might call your boss up at work and tell them you didn't deserve the promotion because you have serious psychological problems (when you don't). Then they refuse to talk to you for three days.
getting you angry: They provoke you and bait you in ways that they know will get you angry and reactive. Once you become reactive, they tell you that you have serious mental health problems to get that angry at them. Then they tell you the argument was all your fault without taking accountability for provoking and baiting you for a response. This is also a bullying tactic, by the way.
getting you jealous: Again, they provoke you and bait you to get you jealous. They talk about what great sex they had with their ex. They talk about how attractive a woman is at work. If you go to a dance, they spend most of the night dancing with others and keep looking at you to see if you are reacting. In extreme cases they have affairs and flaunt them in your face, but then act surprised, devastated and vengeful when you file for divorce. They can even say things like "You never cared about me to file for divorce!"
controlling the conversation to get negative reactions out of you: blaming you for things you did not do, blaming you for things you did not say, blaming you for thoughts you do not have (called perspecticide). Any actions that show that they do not value you, who you are, what you do, or what you have to say is usually to get a reaction out of you. Stonewalling and silencing you is also one of the ways narcissists try to control what is discussed, when it is discussed, and how it is discussed. If they don't get their own way in this regard every single time, they have a tantrum, and often refuse to talk to you at all.
sending the message that no one cares about you: This usually is a bullying technique meant to make you feel alone and lonely, without support from a single soul, an outcast, a shunned person that no one in the world will accept. Except that it usually comes with false narratives about you, and lots of smear campaigns to get other people doubting you and siding with the narcissist way before they want others to shun you. In other words, it is premeditated, an insurance policy in case you "buck" their control.
Part of why they do this is to get you wanting to get approval from them and the group, especially their brainwashed group. This tends to work in their favor in the short term, but not in the long term. If this is the first time they do this, the negative reaction they want is probably what they will get: you'll feel alone, lonely and shunned.
If they keep doing it, you'll probably figure out it is an obnoxious game they want to play to get you afraid and reacting, and to keep you from seeking other avenues of genuine support, instead of the very tenuous support they show you.
getting reactions out of you where you feel afraid, intimidated, threatened, anxious and/or hunted: This is generally referred to as coercive control. This is the most dangerous of negative narcissistic supply, but I bet it comes with all of the others I have mentioned first or in tandem with it. If it includes sadism too, there is even more danger to it.
Their wanting to get negative narcissistic supply out of you doesn't get better, and can get much worse.
The amount of narcissistic supply they get from others is never enough. They always want more. Now imagine that their main source of narcissistic supply is the negative kind. This means they'll be increasing the amount of hurt they give you, sometimes to the point of sadistic acts.
When therapists tell you that abuse escalates, listen to them. Getting negative narcissistic supply is part of it.

* If there is gang bullying going on, it can be more dangerous than one sole narcissist bullying you because brainwashed fools in numbers tend "not to be smart".
They aren't being smart about what they are doing because they are brainwashed. They have given up any kind of moral convictions in order to please the narcissist. They have also given up on their own independent thoughts to act on the narcissist's behalf.
The dynamic doesn't change because of the number of people involved (and the co-supporters of the bullying will justify each bullying incident)
* When family mobbing becomes dangerous (Google Search and Google AI)
* When the golden child participates in family mobbing (Google Search and Google AI)
* The enabler parent in the narcissistically abusive family - by therapist, Jay Reid (You Tube)
* Dirty Secrets: The Hidden Truth of Family Mobbing and Scapegoat Abuse #scapegoat #toxicfamily - by Rebecca C. Mandeville LMFT Scapegoat Abuse Expert (You Tube)
* An INSIDIOUS type of narcissistic BULLYING - by Dr.Ramani Duvasula (You Tube)
* Family scapegoat, prized, needed and envied | Diane Collins | TEDxFederalHill (You Tube)
* Are family scapegoats sometimes killed? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Signs Your Family is Using You as the SCAPEGOAT - by Psych To Go (You Tube)
* Are authoritarian families more abusive? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Are authoritarian parents more abusive? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Family mobbing and bullying (Google Search and Google AI)
* Friendship mobbing and bullying (Google Search and Google AI)
* Workplace mobbing and bullying (Google Search and Google AI)
* Why are daughters more at risk in family mobbing? (Google Search and Google AI)

* Sons and Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers: Who Fares Worse?

How boys and girls of narcissistic mothers can be impacted. - by Claire Jack Ph.D., and reviewed by Devon Frye for Psychology Today
* Why do narcissistic mothers hate their daughters? (Google Search and Google AI)
* 10 symptoms of daughters of narcissistic fathers (Google Search and Google AI)
* 10 symptoms of sons of narcissistic fathers (Google Search and Google AI)
* When your father is a malignant narcissist (Google Search and Google AI)
* My family is a narcissistic bully and keeps bothering me. What should I do? - Quora question
* What are the 3 R's to break the cycle of violence? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Domestic Violence (professional definition) - by Martin R. Huecker, Kevin C. King, Gary A. Jordan, William Smock, for University of Loisville, Muhlenberg Community Hospital Greenville, University of Tennessee, National Library of Medicine (professional research paper)
* Signs and Effects of Workplace Bullying - by Sherri Gordon and reviewed by Rachel Goldman, PhD, FTOS for Very Well Mind

* Insults are a sign of danger too.
This means they are devaluing you. When they've devalued you, they don't care what you feel, or how you feel, or how much damage they've done. Not caring about how you feel gives them the entitlement to treat you badly, with even more insults - or at least that is what they tend to think. To them, you've lost their esteem of you.
How insults contribute to violence against others (Google Search and Google AI)

* Arrogance is a sign of danger because it means the narcissist won't really hear you or listen to you because they have the attitude that they know best, that their mind and perspectives are better than yours. So if you want to tell them how you feel, grandiose narcissists will talk over you (not let you get a word in edgewise), covert narcissists will tell you that isn't how you really feel (and lecture you about how you feel something else instead), and malignant narcissists will tend to get angry because they don't want to talk about how you feel (it simply doesn't matter to them at all).
Arrogance tends to contribute to narcissists having confirmation biases and being blind to knowing anyone else other than themselves, so they will not necessarily care if they put you in danger, or someone else does.
How arrogance contributes to violence against others (Google Search and Google AI)

* Controlling behaviors:
Coercive control consists of threats, humiliation and intimidation. Usually there are fear tactics, interrogation tactics, revenge tactics if you are prone to autonomous thoughts and decisions, isolation tactics to keep you from relating to common friends and family, and gaslighting tactics to get you to question your own mind. Coercive control usually goes with domestic violence or precedes it. Therefor it is dangerous.
Managing you as though they are your boss, teacher, or spiritual leader, and trying to keep you from your own autonomous decisions is a common type of coercive control. This means if you have an autonomous thought or ambition you are being talked out of it to take on the controller's perspectives, ways of doing things, thinking style and opinions. Sometimes you might experience revenge or threats from them if you don't "do what you are told to do" or "think the way they want to think" or "feel the way they want you to feel". Usually this kind of action is only for their benefit, not for yours. They also tend to give you negative reinforcement than positive reinforcement to get you back under their control. Negative reinforcement always comes with dangers.

* A Guide to Coercive Control

How to recognize this subtle yet dangerous form of domestic abuse - by Shelley Flannery for Domestic Shelters
Excerpts:
... Evan Stark, Ph.D., a forensic social worker and author of Coercive Control, estimates between 60% and 80% of female domestic abuse survivors have experienced coercive control beyond physical and emotional abuse. And a brief on the subject by Andrea Silverstone, RSW, executive director of Sagesse Domestic Violence Prevention Society in Canada reports more than 95% of domestic violence victims experience coercive control. ...
... While coercive control can be found in any type of relationship, it’s most common in heterosexual relationships in which the man uses coercive control against the woman. In fact, about one in three women who experience intimate partner violence report being the victim of coercive control as compared with about one in 20 male victims of domestic abuse. Lisa Aronson Fontes, PhD, author of Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship, says she believes this is due to pervasive sexism. ...
... Coercive control may not be explicitly outlawed in every state, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a red flag. In a review of intimate partner homicides in New South Wales, Australia, 100% of cases involved prior coercive control while just over half of offenders had previously been physically violent toward their partners. In other words, violence doesn’t always escalate incrementally. In more than 40% of intimate partner homicides, offenders who had previously used coercive control against their partners killed them with no reports of physical violence in between. ...
* Does coercive control lead to domestic violence (Google Search and Google AI)
* Does coercive control lead to criminal behavior (Google Search and Google AI)

* Who is most at risk of becoming a victim of coercive control? - Women's aid, under the article, "What is Coercive Control?"
* 9 Signs of a Relationship with a Controlling Partner - by Hilary I. Lebow and medically reviewed by Lori Lawrenz, PsyD for Psych Central
* Recognising the Difference Between Love and Controlling Behaviour in Relationships: Warning Signs - by the administrators of National Legal service Solicitors (UK)
* Why is coercive control illegal? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Why isn't coercive control illegal in many states in the USA? (Google Search and Google AI)
* What do you call someone who wants to control everything? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Do criminals use coercive control? (Google Search and Google AI)

* Isolating you from others is often part of every narcissist's agenda. Again, this usually comes with a lot of smear campaigns with false narratives that they tell others long before your relationship with them seems to be in trouble. Narcissists use smear campaigns as their insurance policy to hoard the people that you both know with fake charm and false narratives about your sanity, so that you will be shunned and unsupported by their sycophants and other minions when you do break up with the narcissist.
If these minions are brainwashed for a long time, they won't want to hear your side of things.
Isolating is another aspect of Coercive control that can be more obvious than other traits.
* How domestic violence offenders try to isolate their victims (Google Search and Google AI)
* ISOLATION TACTICS – How victims of Domestic Abuse fall into the trap - National Centre for Domestic Violence
* How isolating a victim contributes to victimization (Google Search and Google AI)
* How does isolation lead to victimization? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Emotional abuse in intimate relationships: The role of gender and age - by Günnur Karakurt and Kristin E Silver for Violence Vict., and National Library of Medicine, National Center for Biotechnology, Pub Med Central (professional paper) - section on isolation

* male perpetrators who are loners, outcasts or have endured loneliness and social isolation for years or decades: The Cultural Roots of Loneliness and Violence

* Research with boys helps us understand the roots of loneliness and violence. - by Niobe Way Ed.D. for Psychology Today

* Entitlement can mean they feel entitled to do anything and get away with anything.
How does entitlement figure into domestic violence? (Google Search and Google AI)
Can spoiled children become abusive? (Google Search and Google AI)

* Breaking your property is often a precursor to physical abuse. It is also a type of revenge, and revenge in any close personal relationship is definitely a more serious kind of danger.
Property Damage in the Domestic Violence Context - by D. Kelly Weisberg, UC Hastings College of the Law, for UC Law SF

* Lack of empathy is another danger sign. If they don't care about you, they won't care how things affect you unless they are into negative narcissistic supply and sadism.
Lack of empathy with threatening, menacing behavior? Particularly dangerous.
Lack of empathy in domestic violence offenders (Google Search and Google AI)

* Lack of any regret or accountability for hurting you - more dangerous. A sign of Antisocial Personality Disorder which can co-exist with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Lack of empathy in domestic violence offenders is particularly dangerous.
However, even if they have a habit of apologizing, it doesn't necessarily mean they've reformed. It doesn't necessarily mean they have regrets either. This is especially true if they keep hurting you in the same ways over and over again via a cycle.
* Lack of remorse or regret in Antisocial Personality Disorder - (Google Search and Google AI)
* The Remorse of Abusers
Too much can lead to more abuse. - by Steven Stosny, Ph.D. for The Resilience Center of Houston

* Criminal past, criminal tendencies, or a criminal mindset - even more dangerous. A lot of narcissists will break codes of conduct, like having extra-marital affairs on partners (the partner thinks they are in a monogamous relationship and is shocked to find they are not, for instance), or playing around with damaging gossip, or hiding addictions, or saying "I do" for the fifth time in terms of being faithful in their marriage, and insulting others in institutions like schools that expect polite discourse, but most of narcissists fall just short of committing crimes.
For those narcissists who do commit crimes, there is usually some element of Antisocial Personality Disorder.
The crimes can be taking things that aren't theirs but have no value on the lower end of criminal activity. Murdering you is on the higher end of criminality obviously. The amount of Antisocial Personality Disorder that is mixed in with Narcissistic Personality Disorder depends largely on what they do and say.
A person that cannot take any complaint or criticism without wanting to hurt you in extreme over-reactive ways might be someone high in Antisocial Personality Disorder, especially if they cannot tolerate any kind of autonomous decisions or thoughts from you either.
Micro-managing you in extreme ways so that you are constantly being monitored and told how you are making mistakes, and raging at you about the mistakes you are perceived to make, and punishing and insulting you for your perceived mistakes, especially when you are a full adult, is another trait of Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Sometimes it is hard to tell what criminal deeds they've done until after the fact since narcissists also have a strong need for positive validation from society tend to put hiding their criminal acts first.
The truth can come out as late as when they've been arrested for some other crime in the past, or it comes out in court from the prosecution lawyers that they've committed crimes before and have many victims.
So don't necessarily assume they've never committed crimes.
If they have strong Machiavellian tendencies that can be a sign of a criminal mindset as the focus is mostly on deceit and self serving interests.
A "criminal mindset" can mean they are focused a lot on "getting their own way" in issues where property is joint, or children are joint, or where they make plans to "get" what they want out of a relationship without considering you or your feelings.
A "criminal mindset" is often much more focused on revenge over matters which aren't meant to hurt them. While normal minds can be focused on revenge, it is more episodic and rarely carried out.
A "criminal mindset" is often focused on getting money, material possessions, lying about other people to gain favor, and rewards at the expense of others.
A "criminal mindset" is often focused on getting rid of people or manipulating people to get an unfair advantage over them (power) or to take something from them.
A "criminal mindset" uses an incredible amount of charm, politeness and love bombing in order to gain favor and entry into someone else's life in order to gain something for themselves. They also use it in cases where their real motivations are not easily detected. Most narcissistic criminals are much more charming and affectionate than non-criminals. They act over-familiar, and over-intimate. The love bombing is usually intense, with a lot of flattery, a lot of mirroring of your likes and dislikes, and memes that you later find out were insincere. However, if you're not bowled over by them and their love bombing, or accept them right away (take things slowly), they can be rejecting, snippy, feel insulted and angry - that shows their entitlement. Entitlements is another danger sign.
A "criminal mindset" is also about getting away with things as much as possible.
A criminal mindset is very unlikely to change. If you tell them how you feel, how their actions effect you, the damage their actions have done, or the repercussions in their own life, or with their own family and society at large, they are still not likely to change a bit. These people are "all about themselves and what they want" so much so that they really can't focus on others. They will not have empathy, and they tend to act on impulse when their needs become "overwhelming" to them.
Some of them make elaborate plans "to get the most out of situations that aren't immediately rewarding them". It is who they are, in other words.
They may promise to stop stealing, or stop home invading, or stop dealing drugs, or what ever their specialty is, but overwhelmingly they don't unless they feel that arrest for their crimes and attempted crimes is imminent. They tend to go for more vulnerable victims, victims who are not suspecting or show weakness at being talked into things.
A lot of people describe criminal narcissists and psychopaths as intelligent. However, committing crimes and lying about their intentions is not difficult. The difference is that if we act like they do, we feel sick. If they do it, they don't, and have very little conscience about their actions. They use your empathy and trust to gain access to you, to take from or manipulate you for their own gains. The real word for criminals is "predatory" and "Machiavellian" instead of "intelligent". The latter uses plans and deceit to get what they want, but many criminal plans usually can be detected by law enforcement, especially with technological advancements: DNA, social media and sightings, warning signals, cameras in every city and most businesses, drones and satellites, among other investigative techniques. Thus most criminals do not have "unusual intelligence" to go undeciphered. If you have a sense that something is "not right" about a person, or someone you know has the traits of Antisocial Personality Disorder, never meet with them alone. Crowds are best.

Narcissism is often described as a personality disorder with arrested development. When a child is born, they focus overwhelmingly on their own needs, and on getting those needs met by a caregiver. However, as they grow older, and as empathy develops in a normal way, they stop thinking of the world as "I got to have --" and "I have to get my needs met by others", and "I'm the most important person in this relationship".
As the enmeshment with the caregiver weakens, either in a slow or fast way depending on the caregiver, the child also takes on more autonomous thinking, doing and planning. Narcissists and narcissists who commit crimes never get to this point. Their minds are still on "how to get from others" and "I'm the most important person in this relationship."
Entitlement to control or take from others can come from having most every need and want met, especially compared to other children in the family - important distinction. As children, budding narcissists probably receive very little explanation for why they can't have everything and anything they want, (i.e. they are not taught "resource lessons") . Many of them are not taught basic lessons like: "Do not take from others," or "Those aren't your toys," or "You aren't entitled to receive more than your sibling."
This is especially true if they are taught by example that they are "special" and deserve more rewards than others (arrogance).
Thus when they believe that they deserve more than others, and also deserve to be "treated special" in terms of "getting", it is this entitlement, often mixed with envy, that drives them to exploit situations and others to "get more". If others show weakness in terms of the exploiter (malignant narcissist) gaining easy access, a trusting person can become a victim.
Children who grow up in narcissistic families are often taught that boundaries are not acceptable when it comes to family members, and this is what can cause them to be victims with people outside of the family too. Boundaries are one of the first steps to becoming safe and autonomous if you are in a narcissistic family. Criminals especially love people who have poor boundaries, poor self defense, poor self esteem, poor knee jerk reactions to being exploited and taken from, and high empathy and trust.
Criminality doesn't preclude doing damage to you in terms of taking your finances, your assets, your mental health, your trust in others, your peace of mind, and your very life. If they've gotten away with a lot of crimes, they can feel especially emboldened to hurt you and take from you again by other means. In other words they like scheming against you because of your vulnerability.
* Can a criminal mindset contribute to domestic violence? (Google Search and Google AI)

* Domestic Violence and Deviant Behavior - by William D. Norwood, Ernest N. Jouriles, Renee McDonald, and Paul R. Swank. This research was supported by grant number 98–WT–VX–0005 from the National Institute of Justice, Office of Justice Programs, U.S. Department of Justice. (professional paper)
* Men are more likely to commit violent crimes. Why is this so and how do we change it? - by Rick Sarre, Andrew Day, Ben Livings, Catia Malvaso for The Conversation, re-published at The University of Melbourne, Australia
* Is domestic violence a violent crime? (Google Search and Google AI) - the answer? - yes, it is.
* Narcissism and criminal behavior (Google Search and Google AI)
* An exploration of the link between narcissism, masochism, and crime in a post-incarcerated sample - by Hannah I. Piros , Amy Bauman and Brendan Clark for Journal of the National Medical Association, Volume 115, Issue 5, October 2023, Pages 488-495, and Science Direct (professional paper)

* Physical abuse? - even more dangerous still.
* Rates of homicide in physical abuse (Google Search and Google AI)
* Danger Assessment - Women'sLaw.org
* Is pushing and shoving assault? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Is shoving someone physical abuse? (Department of Justice USA)
* Is pushing and shoving abuse? (Government of Canada)
* Is throwing objects at you considered an assault? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Is grabbing a hold of you considered assault? (Google Search and Google AI)
* Is spitting on you considered assault? (Google Search and Google AI)
* What to do if a child is punched in the stomach (Google Search and Google AI)
* Child Abuse - Mayo Clinic
* Definition of Domestic Violence (Government of Delaware, USA)
* Abuse Almost Always Escalates

Bad news: If you’re trapped in a cycle of abuse, it’s most likely going to only get worse - by Amanda Kippert for Domestic Shelters
excerts:
... While an abuser may say they “lost control” or “didn’t mean it” when their abuse escalates, that’s not true. Escalation is a choice abusers make when they feel like they’re losing control of the survivor or when they want to send a very clear message—they hold the power in the relationship. ...
* Why would my boyfriend say he loves me but when he gets mad, he says mean things? - Quora question
* RECOMMENDED: How To Know If My Abusive Husband Is Changing – Claire’s Story

Learn how to safely observe if he's truly changing or if it's just more grooming and gaslighting. - Betrayal Trauma Recovery (a podcast, but by scrolling down, you can read the transcript)

* Any assaults to the face, head and neck - especially dangerous - can put you in imminent danger of losing your life, even. Includes slapping your face, digging fingernails, pushing your face, clawing your face or neck, touching your neck in an aggressive way, choking, punching, karate chopping at your head or neck, slamming your face or head into an object, pulling your head, kicking your head, face or neck, jerking your head to one side.
* Assaults to the face head and neck in domestic violence (Google Search and Google AI)
* Is a slap across the face assault? (Google Search and Google AI)
* How dangerous is strangulation? Domestic Violence and Strangulation…4 Facts and 4 Myths - by Sarah Swiston for Wings, Breaking the Cycle of Domestic Violence
excerpt:
The odds of homicide increase 750% for victims that have been previously strangled by their partner. If an abuser has access to firearms, the odds of female homicide increase by 1,100%.
* Domestic Violence and Traumatic Brain Injury: The Chilling Truth of This Hits Home - American Brain Foundation, American Academy of Neurology
* What are the most common injuries from domestic violence? (Google Search and Google AI) - answer: head, neck and face
* Domestic violence, assaults to the head (Google Search and Google AI)
* Understanding Domestic Violence as a Cause of TBI - Brain Injury Association of America
* What to do after getting hit in the head? (Google Search and Google AI)

When you are in danger, often a number of these things are at play. Whether it's two of them or ten of them, it's still dangerous. Yes, some of them are more dangerous than others. But when I visit forums for battered women, most of them are surprised that their so-called lover was that violent, was that calloused about how the violence was effecting his victim(s), was that blind as to how "at fault" he was.
Most of these women are surprised that they ended up in the hospital with severe injuries that needed in-patient care. In other words, they didn't see it coming. And for a lot of them, only verbal abuse, or emotional abuse precluded this kind of violence.

Verbal abuse and emotional abuse are not to be taken for granted.

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