An Update: Writing More Posts With Another Writer

Peep (not her real name) of the blog, Five Hundred Pound Peeps, and I will be publishing more posts together (this is her statement about that). The last post we published together was this one. 

We thought it might be more helpful for our readers. I do as much research and reading as I can on a topic, and she tells the personal side of the story. 

The next one in the series will be about rebellion and scapegoats. The title to mine is: "Are Scapegoats of Narcissistic Families Really Rebellious? Or Is It Just a Complaint by a Narcissist to Get the Scapegoat to Be More Submissive?" 

Another topic we will cover has to do with the positives and negatives of going "no contact" (dealing with family estrangement). I have shared a lot of personal stories of others in the post, A Psychologist Speaks Out About People Estranged From Their Family, and Narcissistic Abuse Survivors Speak Out About Suicidal Thoughts, Scapegoating, and Losing Their Entire Family of Origin, but I think this new post will add even more insights, especially details on positive aspects of going "no contact" as that one had a bit more to do with the negative aspects, and some anger towards narcissists. For instance, one of the more positive aspects is the ACON community (another link here, or try a twelve step group here, or go to your local domestic violence center and find a group there). I also offer some personal perspectives, and things I've tried, and things I would have changed in that post, and hers will be mostly about personal issues she has had with going "no contact." 

As you can tell, a lot of our posts are about scapegoats, and geared towards scapegoats and what they go through. We hope it is helpful to other scapegoats. 

Here are other topics we will be writing about in the future: 

* Do Scapegoats Really Resent the Golden Child? Or is it Just Something that Narcissists Make Up or Assume So That They Achieve Their Goals in Hurting the Scapegoat?

* Ways in Which the Scapegoat is Often Arm-twisted by the Family to Accept Bullying and Mobbing

* Muscle Aches and Pains When Traumatized from Abuse (with a Discussion on How Narcissists and Sociopaths Contribute to It)
     (note: this one requires a lot of study into the science of trauma and the physiological reactions to it in one's body, and some of it is hard for me to understand because I do not have a medical or science background - but it is interesting enough for me to pursue and hopefully explain it in a way that will be enlightening. It is one of the symptoms that can have a major impact on other organs of the body, causing more stress on the body, and once you have it, you have it in spades. It's hard to ignore, and if you aren't aware of conditions like Generalized Anxiety Disorder, you can think you have a bad case of Fibromyalgia or that you have a disease of the nervous system. It's systemic - every muscle is effected. It's one of the major physical symptoms, which many child abuse survivors experience along with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It may take me awhile to publish compared to other posts, but it will hopefully be interesting to you as well as Peep's post where she will talk about when and how this set of symptoms came about, and her struggles with it on a personal level). 

Another post Peep has suggested to me is that we do one on "poverty and scapegoats". I think the way I'd like to tackle this is to get a lot of stories from scapegoats and to see if they went through a period of short term or long term poverty and if it is a common experience among them. My intuition would say yes, at least the ones who are either shunned (and I use the word "shunned" because narcissistic families are very cult-like - you aren't acknowledged in any way if they discard you - even the fact that you are alive is not acknowledged) or the scapegoat has left of their own accord.

I could also contribute to the discussion because I went through a period of poverty between ages 18 - 21 (and I had jobs during that period and at 19 was going to college full time too, and a story to tell about the bureaucracy hurdles of trying to get food stamps during that period). It was also a period of rampant sexism in America where young women made quite a bit less than men. Employers constantly told young female workers that they weren't going to get paid for extra work or overtime, and in my case, my boss withheld two weeks of pay because I was dating someone my boss thought I should marry. There was the constant "drone" that women had no place in the workplace and to get "hitched" and have babies instead. Young men made passes at you at work, and if you rejected their advances, they could lord it over you about the fact that they had more money, higher wages, and could get in higher positions over you, no matter how talented you were because no one liked "a pushy woman asking for a job." It impacted my life. 

I would like to do a post on scapegoats and sexism, and how many shunned or treated-like-a-minority scapegoats are vulnerable to sexual harassment, sexual abuse, sexual harm, sexual ostracism, being cheated on, and sexism. In terms of narcissistic families, I did hear somewhere that girls have a much higher rate of being scapegoated than boys do, as high as 13 - 1. If true, this may have to do with the fact that boys are favored in society too, or at least once were. We will see how a female politician fares against a male politician (but I would bet that if she does win, it is because women will go out in force to vote for her). 

At any rate, it is going to be harder for Trump to beat her with his usual insults and name-calling. Calling a woman "crazy", "lying", "nasty" and "stupid" is what domestic violence offenders call women. It is also what girls are often called too in child abuse situations. These are the most common words of violent perpetrators of women and girls at any rate. Perpetrators also indulge in false narratives and smear campaigns about women. It's going to cause any woman who has been called these names to vote for Kamala Harris (and I bet it would be significant numbers of them, at least that is what I predict from my mini corner of the planet).

If she does get elected, maybe it is a sign that "enough is enough" when it comes to male leaders and their agendas for women.

One of the reasons we are doing these posts together is to give you a wider breadth of a topic, what I have researched and discovered from hearing survivor stories, how it effected Peep on a personal level, and so that the most informed decision can be made, especially if you are a scapegoat of a family.

For instance, the most difficult and major choice you can make in your life if you are a scapegoat is whether to respond at all if you've been discarded or shunned by your family, what typically happens if you respond to a shunning, or if you've made the decision yourself to go "No Contact" after a life time of being treated like a second class citizen in the home and sometimes even in the world at large. That is one of the major topics we will be discussing.

Some other scapegoat posts I have written are listed HERE.